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Showing posts with label fun. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fun. Show all posts

4 Workout Tips for Better Sex & Orgasms

Having a healthy body (as defined by ourselves, not others) is mind-blowingly hot. What's not to love about feeling good with yourself, inside and out? Count on being more emotionally and physically fit, not to mention being better in bed! Being healthy is one of the biggest actions to promote self love you can do. Our resident Sex Life Coach Eric Amaranth talks about getting healthy for better sex. What could be better?

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It is absolutely true that a sex life can be enjoyed regardless of the shape someone is in. My sex life coaching works for a wide range of body types. It is also true that people in better shape have certain advantages in the bedroom. This blog post will cover several of the most relevant muscle groups for both women and men plus the effect they have on your sex and orgasm quality and possibilities.

#1 Abs

This muscle group is one of the most important for men (or women on top). The abs are called on most to drive the pelvis during missionary and sideways missionary intercourse, which is still quite popular. Speeding up the rhythm of his thrust multiplies the effort required to keep up that pace.

Slow is also great, can contribute perfectly to big orgasms, and fast can make it feel like a blur of friction that isn’t as good as the details you can feel with slow. That said, fast has its place and specific advantages too. There are times when certain types of penetration must be done at a rapid rate based on the needs of his partner’s body/genitals to reach orgasm or have the best time possible. There still other situations that have nothing to do with the receiving partner’s needs and everything to do with the man expressing his overpowering desire for his partner and masculine sexual intention.

Abs also play a lesser role in many other positions because they will be recruited for most forms of thrusting. This is why I put abs workouts at the top of the list. The more crunches you can do, the more endurance you’ll have, which translates into being able to thrust rapidly for a longer period of time, which is exactly what your partner may need for a favorite type of big orgasm. Triggering certain orgasms in a given person can also require specific forms of energy-intensive stimulation. If you have what it takes to trigger it, great! If not, then that’s okay, but it’s time to get back in the gym.

My favorite way to workout my abs is with a abs machine that allows me to increase the weight over time in a precise way. After you do crunches to a certain point, curling your own body weight wont be enough for further gains. Crunches on the floor are hard on your tail bone and low back. You also wont be able to add more weight resistance to your crunches in a way that is easy to manage for the majority of people. I’ve seen my most consistent gains in my abs since using a crunches machine.

#2 Quads/thighs

This muscle group is equally important to abs for both women and men. Strong, developed thighs allow a woman to sit astride her man (or penetrating woman) and buck and grind for as long as she wants or needs to drive him or her or herself over the edge into a big-O. This is a popular position for indirect clitoral stimulation during intercourse which works nicely for those women with a clitoris sensitive enough to build up and orgasm from vaginal penetration plus indirect clitoral stimulation against her partner’s pelvis.

Even if a woman is not sensitive enough she can still use this position and combine other forms of direct clitoral stimulation with it. I have a personal attraction to women with developed thighs. I call these thighs “sex engines” because, besides looking sexy, driving a woman’s thrusts during female superior/cowgirl is one thing they’re made for. This position when done a certain way provides a unique form of stimulation to the head of the penis via her cervix.

Thighs are also important in other positions for men as well. Particularly positions with men and doing the thrusting on their knees. The usual weight training for thighs are good: squats and quad-targeting machines. On any of my weight training workouts, I follow a pattern of 10 reps at such and such weight, rest one minute, 8 at a bit higher weight, rest one minute, then a weight setting where I can do 4 to 6 reps before my muscles can lift no more. Rest for two minutes, then do 4 to 6 again. I repeat two more times and then I’m finished with that muscle group.

#3 Butt

The glutes are a big deal in sex. Practically and visually. For both genders, it’s simple: everyone loves to view and touch a partner’s toned, attractive bum. On a practical note, the glutes do join with the abs to help give locomotion to thrusting and other hip movements. This is an opportune time to mention that one of the things I learned early on was that rocking hips are not just a male form of physical sexual expression. I found that women also rock hips often as their body’s way of expressing the enjoyment of the sensations. I was taught that hip bobbing in women is often good to build arousal because it is sexual body language and will urge the mind to go into a more deeply aroused place. I suggest to women clients, as does my mentor, to experiment with different levels of hip bobbing and thrusting to see how it affects them and makes things better.

I’ve tried a number of different exercises that do work the glutes, but no exercise does it for me like a glutes machine. Not even squats. Squats can’t isolate the glutes like that machine can. I don’t see them in every gym, but look around in yours and try it out for a month or two using the workout method I described above. Because glutes are a large muscle group, you’ll see noticeable changes faster than in smaller muscle groups like the arms. Speaking of which….

#4 Arms

We all know women who love men love a pair of muscled arms. It reminds me of what men lust for in breast size and shape. The visual appeal is obvious and also the strength they can exert during sex is exciting. Specifically along these lines is going back to endurance again. The stronger the arms, the more endurance they have to do manual sexual skill sets (using your hands and things held by your hands) that require higher energy output for a given partner whose sex organs need more speed and power to best facilitate specific types of intense orgasms. Not running out of juice right as she’s rising up to climax was a good reason for me to get into curls and tricep work.

I like doing standing dumbell curls for my biceps and standing cable pulldowns for my triceps. Done with the same format as above. My decision to target first the specific muscle groups that serve me best in sex turned out to be a very good idea. Two more things:

1. Google workouts to increase breast size. You won’t increase the breast tissue volume, but a bit more prominence of the pecs will improve the overall look.

2. I prefer sprints and resting for a minute or two on the treadmill to long-distance running for cardiovascular exercise. That said, throwing some cardio in there is really good for stamina during intercourse.

Check out the original post at Sex Life Coach NYC.

Eric Amaranth is a sex life coach, working in NYC and globally via video conference, who specializes in women’s and men’s sexuality, basic to advanced sex skills, and high-end sex education. Individuals and couples are guided toward the relationship, intimacy, and sexual enjoyment goals they desire most.

Amaranth believes that for the majority of people, appreciation of ourselves and our romantic partners is one of the best sustainable resources we have to continuously renew attraction, maintain respect, and stay in love with our partners. This bedrock of deep appreciation is founded and reinforced by the combination of loving relationship skills with breathtaking sexual skills. Follow him on Twitter @Eric_Amaranth.

7 Ways to Use Breathing to Improve Sex


Using breathing tactics isn't just for childbirth. Using different breathing techniques can heighten sexual awareness and improve your overall experience. Our resident sensual (and especially tantra) knowledgeable couple, Drs. Janelle and Rob, are back (they first talked about sensual sex). They're very passionate and well-versed in tantra, so we're especially glad to hear from them how couples can utilize their tips for better sex! Read on. 

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In the early stages of your relationship, you may very likely have experienced moments when at the touch of your partner your breath hitched, your heart sped up and the next thing you knew your breath caught up with your heart rate and came fast and heavy. Yet, have you considered just how important breath is to your intimate life with your lover?

Breath is not just about supplying your body with oxygen. It is far more than that. In fact, using your breath in different ways can enhance your sex life. You can heighten your experience, prolong orgasm, and even pierce the veil between the physical and spiritual dimensions. Keep reading to uncover 7 different ways to magnify and expand upon your lovemaking.

#1 Breathe on your lover

This may be the most obvious way to enhance your intimate play. Use your breath to breathe on your sweetie’s skin. Blow sweet caresses on his/her neck, chest, stomach, palms, inside of the wrists, and ears. Of course, it is also very potent to gently blow warm breaths onto his/her genitals. Don’t overlook placing your lips against the clothing and blowing warm puffs of breath through his/her clothing. This can be very exciting and those clothes may come flying off.

#2 Fan the flame

When you are trying to start a fire what often happens? You need to fan the spark and turn it into a roaring fire. Right? That spark needs oxygen to turn into a hot flame. As you are flirting with and playing with and loving on your partner visualize this. Imagine leaning towards that little spark and gently blowing until it turns into a raging inferno. In fact, you can do this visualization prior to touching your lover or prior to even being in the same location as he/she. Imagination is very powerful and with practice it can light your flame.

#3 Set the rhythm

Your breathing can control your heart rate and ultimately control the pace of your lovemaking. When you slow down your breathing you can slow down your experience. Yet, beware that slowing down your breathing too much can also cause you to lose your sexual desire. So, only slow down your breathing enough to prolong your lovemaking. Taking deep, slow breaths will allow more blood to flow into the genitals and this will enable the penis to swell more as well as the clitoris. This increase in blood flow will help you experience more sensation in the genitals.

#4 Orgasmic breath 

Think about it a minute. At the point of orgasm, you probably hold your breath. Most people do. What if you tried to breathe during your orgasm and at climax? This takes practice, but one suggestion is to release your breath with a vocal “oooohhh”. Another sound you can practice releasing at that point is “ooooommmm”. The “om” is more of a vibration than a word. This can vibrate throughout your entire body and your partner’s. Is there really a need for explanation of the impact of a vibration radiating throughout your bodies during orgasm? ;-)

#5 Deepen your bond with tandem breath

Breathing together in tandem can deepen your bond as well as get you in harmony with one another. Sitting facing one another get close enough so that your knees are touching.

You may also sit in the yab yum position (one partner sits cross-legged while the other partner sits facing him/her on his/her lap and wraps his/her legs around the bottom partner). Become aware of your breath. Then focus on inhaling and exhaling at the same time as your lover. You can do this fully clothed and out of bed or to heighten the experience you can sit in yab yum naked and in bed.

#6 Channel energy

Breathing moves energy through your body. As you become aware of your breathing you will become aware of your entire body and the sensations that flow from head to toe and back again. Breathe in deeply pulling energy into your root chakra (located at the base of your spine between the coccyx and pelvic bone) from the Earth. Hold that new energy there and focus on the spinning of that chakra. After a few breaths, move this energy up to the sacral chakra (located just below the navel) as you inhale. Again, focus on spinning that chakra with this increased energy. As you come together with your lover envision your root and sacral chakras blending your energies. This is the beginning of heightening the sexual energetic flow in your body.

#7 Use breath for visualization

Instead of thinking of breathing as taking in oxygen imagine you are breathing in your partner’s love for you and exhaling your love for him/her. Breath or “prana” in Sanskrit is considered to be the life force and is concentrated along the seven main chakras. So, visualize your partner’s breath as life giving love for you and your breath as life giving love for him/her. Become aware of the two of you sharing, blending and exchanging breath integrating your minds, your bodies and your souls.

We're so excited to get a couple writing for GetLusty! They're both adorable, smart and altogether wonderful!

Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc. are writers, counselors as well as Sacred and Sensual Teachers. They recently completed an eBook on "Sexy Challenges: Sacred and Sensual Experiences for Lovers" which is on sale at Amazon! Learn more about them on Inward Oasis.

The 10 Commandments of Sex & Food



Sex and food go together like peanut butter and jelly. We have already talked about why food and sex work so well together and how to spice things up in your kitchen. But when involving food and sex we should always follow a set of commandments. No one wants any spicy peppers or hot oils near our pleasure zones! Ouch! So if you are ready to bring some sexy food into your love life read on! Dr. Jenn is here with her 10 commandments concerning food and sex!

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Commandment #1

Many fresh fruits are sensual and nutritious. Choose five of different colors and shapes and create a fruit plate of foreplay.

Commandment #2 

Eating small amounts of dark chocolate is not only pleasing to your taste buds, it also raises your body’s endorphins.

Commandment #3 

Double the amount of time you usually spend eating a meal and chew each bite longer to truly experience the food

Commandment #4 

Pay attention to all five senses when you’re in the bedroom and be present with regard to the pleasant sensations felt in the moment.


Commandment #5 

Create your own aphrodisiacs – take turns once a week preparing or buying a meal or special food item that is all about pleasing your partner.

Commandment #6 

Eat a rainbow of fresh vegetables regularly for the high fiber and vitamins and minerals. A healthy you can lead to a healthy sex drive.

Commandment #7 

Spend 20 minutes eating an orange, alone or with a partner; be mindful of what it is like to make love to that orange.


Commandment #8 

If you are going to indulge in foods that you think are guilty pleasures, don’t feel guilty and just enjoy the experience (and the pleasures).

Commandment #9 

Never put sweet items in your vagina because the sugar can increase the chance of a bacterial infection.

Commandment #10 

Avoid foods that make you feel bloated and sluggish (fried foods, refined carbohydrates, rich cream sauces, saturated fats, or excessive sugar) – it doesn’t feel sexy!

Keeping these commandments in mind, go forth and enjoy your sexual experience with all your senses!

Jennifer Gunsaullus, PhD, is a sociologist, sexuality speaker, and sex therapist, with a passion for challenging people to sexually think outside the box.

Dr. Jenn is a public speaker on topics including healthy relationships, love, gender, mindfulness, erotic play, and happiness. She counsels individuals and couples, in person and over Skype, to assist in creating and maintaining open communication and fulfilling intimacy. Dr. Jenn is a contributing writer for Pacific San Diego Magazine and is a sex and relationship expert on Fox 5 news and San Diego Living. Follow her on Twitter at  @DrJennsDen and Facebook.

10 Craziest American Sex Laws


America is a strange and fantastic place. We are afforded some of the greatest luxuries the world has to offer, and supposedly are allowed to say and do anything we want. Actually, no.

When it comes to sex laws, we are not anywhere close to the land of the free. In fact, The United States has more laws governing sex acts than all of Europe combined. Luckily, GetLusty's Andrew Ewald is here to demystify and tell you about the wacky things that you might not want to tell the police about.

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#1 Only Missionary
Place: Washington, D.C.

Who would've thought that having more than 'vanilla' sex would be considered illegal? In Washington, D.C., the only acceptable sexual position is the missionary position. No, I guess we should consider here for a moment. Does this law apply to politicians? Because they fuck people in the ass all the time.

#2 No rodeo sex
Place: Massachusetts

If you're a little kinky and want to get fresh at a rodeo in MA, we recommend against it. In Massachusetts rodeos, it's illegal to have sex with a rodeo clown in the presence of horses. It's not talking about bestiality (which is very uncool because it involves un-consensual sex so we're very against it), rather just having sex in front of the animals. Is this law meant to protect the clowns or the horses?

#4 Excessive police niceness about car sex
Place: Coeur D'Alene, Idaho

We never thought we'd add police niceness to the list but here it goes. In Coeur D'Alene, Idaho, it's safe to make love while in a parked car.  Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. If an officer is suspicious, he must drive up from behind, honk three times, and wait two minutes before getting out to investigate. With regard to most of the other laws that either make no sense or are offensive, this one is crazy because of it's sensibility and politeness.

#3 No habitual kissing with mustaches
Place: Indiana

Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans. So seriously, where di this law come from, anyway? Does Indiana have an out-of-control mustache problem? Some sort of kissing phobia? Do they film a lot of porn there? How do you qualify and register as a habitual kisser of humans? Are there mustache check points at random intersections?

#5 No tollbooth sex
Place: Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

It is illegal to have sex with a truck driver in a tollbooth. Don't laugh. Truck driver tollbooth sex (TDTS) causes massive traffic back-ups and costs the freight industry millions of dollars in lost revenue each year. Unless the TDTS problem is addressed head-on, we stand to lose a great deal more than just shipping revenue. This legislation aims to correct this deplorable threat to our economy.

#6 No wedding hunting
Place: Oblong, Illinois

It is punishable by law to have sex while hunting or fishing on your wedding day. I feel like the primary reason this activity is only illegal because of its difficulty level. Just imagine the skill required to handle two different types of tackle, several guns and a wedding dress! Very few people are such talented outdoorsmen and lovers.

#7 No corsets
Place: Merryville, Montana

Wearing a corset is illegal because, in the law's own words, "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the red-blooded American male."

It must be noted that in Norfolk, Virginia there is law in place enforcing the use of corsets for which there was even a civil-service job, reserved for men only, called a "corset inspector". The Merryville law seems like a step in a more progressive direction even though it seems aimed at protecting men's rights.

#8 No gun play during orgasms
Place: Connersville, Wisconsin

It is against the law for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm. This is the sort of law that gives people ideas. Not everyone thinks about bringing a gun into bed and firing off a few victory rounds. But when you put it on paper like that, Connersville, it sounds pretty exciting.

#9 No oral sex
Place: Missouri

Missouri is supposed to be, "The welfare of the people shall be the supreme law". At least according to its state motto. Not so much says GetLusty. It is illegal to engage in oral sex in Missouri. Why? We're not sure as oral sex is one of our favorite ways to start of sex. But don't get caught doing this 'indecent' act otherwise you could be at risk of persecution.

#10 No dick costumes
Place: Nevada

It is illegal for any member of the legislature to conduct official business wearing a penis costume while the legislature is in session. We cannot have the general public thinking that politicians are giant, walking erections. That would give people the wrong idea about government.

Andrew Ewald is a GetLusty writer who spends most of his time reading, writing, cooking, and watching RuPaul's Drag Race with his girlfriend.

He graduated from Western Michigan University with a Bachelor's in in English. He might act like a square, but nothing is taboo with this character. Connect with him! E-mail him at andrew@getlusty.com.

28 Surprising Benefits of Being a Loving Couple

Do you realize how wonderful it is to have a loving spouse? Being in an amazing sexual relationship is beautiful and can be very beneficial for your overall health and even finances. Even when things get difficult, being close to someone is one of the best things life has to offer. Of course we get bored and forget how lucky we are to be close to someone. That's OK! At GetLusty, we've put together a list of just some of the benefits of being part of an awesome couple.

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#1 Waking up next to each other. Loneliness might be the most despairing aspect of being single. Opening your eyes after a long nights sleep and seeing the beautiful face of the one you love is a wonderful thing.

#2 Always having someone to see a movie with. Not to say that convenience is a benefit, but if you've found the right one, then you have a best friend who is there to share all your cinematic adventures with.

#3 Seeing the smile on your partners face when you bring them breakfast in bed. From childhood we humans have this obsessive urge to please the ones we love. We behaved this way with our parents, aunts, and grandparents. Now that we're all grown up, we want to carry this convention forward with our relationships. It gives us a sense of accomplishment, and reminds us of how loved we are.

#4 Loving the sound of your partner's annoying laugh. Being ridiculously and insanely smitten with someone is one the most exciting occurrences one will ever experience. To be so infatuated that every little annoying habit becomes a spine-tingling, hair-raising event.

#5 Being able to test your robot dance out on a captive audience. Many of us have a hard time being ourselves out in public. Some of us even dread the idea of co-worker or family member seeing how we act at home, when we're all alone. When you have that special someone in your life, you have a person who loves every silly, bizarre thing you do, and you'll love performing for them.

#6 Having someone to hold onto while you watch "The Exorcist" for the fourth time. It's not just a benefit for the ladies. No matter what your man tells you, he gets scared too, and having someone there provides a huge sense of safety. Having someone who makes you feel safe carries over to larger issues in life - not just spooky movies.

#7 Taking showers together. With your partner there for every aspect of your life, those once ordinary day-to-day tasks suddenly become potential erotic adventures.

#8 Attending your favorite sporting event together. Many singles stubbornly think that sporting events are just for the guys, but a victory make-out session is much more exciting than a few high-fives with your pals. Another benefit is the amount of adrenalin that's built up during a game. Adrenalin always makes for great sex after the match.

#9 Knowing that you have someone to depend on. Your partner is more than just bed mate, they're your companion - someone to experience this life with. Life gets hard, and complicated, and can even seem unbearable at times. The great thing about a couple is, when you fall, there is always someone there to pick you up.

#10 Feeding each other chocolate covered strawberries. Everyone loves being pampered. Whether it's sharing fruit, or a massage. You'll always have someone there to spoil you.

#11 No more depressing masturbation! We know, there will always be masturbation, no matter how often you and your partner have sex. After discovering that intense connection we call love with someone, the sexual experience ascends to something greater than just satisfying that itch in your pants.

#12 Taking vacations together. The majority of us are not loners. Deep down in our core, we crave friendship and community. When it comes to traveling, most of us are intimidated by the thought of going at it alone, so having that loved one next to you seems to arouse the explorer in us.

#13 Perpetual encouragement. Even the best of us lose a little self-esteem from time to time. It's an amazing thing to always have someone there to help rebuild your fortitude.

#14 All-night Netflix marathons. One of the most adventurous things we did in our childhood was staying up all night with our best friends, watching movies and playing games. After we all grew up, that didn't seem to happen anymore. Your friends have lives of their own now and don't seem too excited about having a slumber party with you. Well, that's what your partner is for. He or she is your new best friend, and they'll always be there to help you build that fort in the living room.

#15 Your ass will always look great in that outfit. As we've noted before, confidence is a huge issue with us humans. We are constantly worried about how others see us, and we're even a little superficial at times. Your girlfriend or boyfriend always wants to be the hottest person you know, and you always will be, because you really are the hottest person in the world to them. 

#16 The glorious majesty of oral sex. Sure, you can get a blowjob during a one-night stand, but will it be the greatest blowjob you ever receive? Probably not. Having that one person, night after night, day after day, to explore and experiment with - that's how you master the art of oral sex. Cunnilingus takes some practice, and is a different experience with every woman. Nobody knows how to blow their woman's mind on the first try. It takes time. A couple has the benefit of discovering that perfect orgasm.

#17 Relaxing in the tub together. Everyone loves a bubble bath! Having someone's slippery, naked body rubbing against yours turns that tranquil time in the tub into a romantic, and erotic engagement.

#18 Holding hands (duh!). Intimacy is incredibly fulfilling, whether it's spooning in bed, or just walking down the street, hand-in-hand. Maybe we get it from childhood, the safety and comfort of having someone hold your hand while crossing the street or wandering through a busy public space. What ever the reason, we all love doing it. 

#19 Having a road-trip partner. Before you found the love of your life, you had to ask around to find a friend who would take a trip with you. Sometimes that can be hard. Sometimes nobody wants to be stuck in a car with you for several hours at a time. A couple never has this issue. You're already spending every day together, so it might as well be spent in a car. There's not much better than exploring the open road with someone who laughs at all your bad jokes. 

#20 Having someone to split a Twix with. We're not saying you should be in a relationship just so you don't waste food, but the sharing aspect is very important. You're sharing food, experiences, thoughts - everything you love, everything you hate. You can think of it as "becoming one" with each other, or you could also see it as one person becoming twice as awesome. 

#21 Experimental cooking. Single folks usually fall into their own routine, and they stick with it until someone comes along and introduces them to something new. For the stereotypical male, it's pizza, hot wings, and anything that's easy to cook. When you find yourself in a couple, you discover this urge to try new things. You've merged your lifestyle with someone else's, and that tends to shake things up a bit. You'll both want to find ways to change those old habits of yours.

#22 Getting texts during your work day that make you feel better. You're not alone in this world. The crappy day at work doesn't have to seed into your mind when you have someone on your team, routing for you. He or she isn't just the person you hook up with at home every night, they're personal pep rally. By the end of  your shift, if won't matter how much your boss yelled at you - not when you know you're in love, and are loved in return.

#23 Having someone who makes sure you don't get too drunk. Sometimes your judgement can waver a bit, and you might need a little assistance. It's nice to have someone looking out for you - someone you will thanking in the morning.

#24 Having someone who will listen to you complain about your parents. After a while you'll notice that some of your friends don't make the best listeners, and your siblings can be a little critical, especially if you're the younger one. A couple always has someone to hear their problems, without judgement.

#25 Negotiating foot massages and back rubs. Single people need to pay people for this kind of thing. Other than the financial benefit, it can be really fun bartering for things with loving displays of affection.

#26 Realizing that even when you fight, you still love each other. You'll notice that singles don't fight. They can always just walk away from an argument, but not couples. They love and care for one another. The argument is important.

#27  Getting to experiment with pubic hair lengths. OK, this sounds a little weird, and maybe even a little gross, but think about it. There are places on your body you would never allow a lover to explore. Be in a couple for a certain amount of time and see how absurdly comfortable you become around your partner. You'll start peeing in front of each other, picking your nose in front of them, and yes, playing with their pubic hair.

#28 Knowing how lucky you are. This might not sound like an extremely important benefit right away, but try to remember the last time you felt this way. Happy couples are so damn happy because of little things like this. You'll see them around sometimes, walking tall, a modest smile on their face.

Jason Estrada is currently working on his master's for creative writing, in the hopes of becoming a very rich screenwriter some day. His other interests include photography, cinematography, and video editing. His favorite book is The Great Gatsby. Favorite movie is either The Crow or When Harry Met Sally - can't decide. And his all time favorite show is Doctor Who.

When he's not enjoying any of those things, you can find him at home, drinking and smoking way too much while listening to VNV Nation. You can email him at jason@getlusty.com, or try his Facebook page.

20 Fun-Filled Fall Date Ideas for Couples



Autumn is one of the most romantic seasons: the temperature is perfect for cuddling but still nice enough to leave the house. Brittany Meyer provides a list of our top autumn dates! Some are clothing optional!

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Without ado, here are 24 fall date ideas - some clothed, some not!

#1 Visit a pumpkin patch

Leave the kids at the babysitter! We're talking about a relaxing day between the two of you! There are a whole host of Pumpkin Patches across Chicago. Then, there are even more Pumpkin Patches near Chicago! Really want to bring the kids? Several are more geared towards children, so do a bit of research before you come without your panties on.

#2 Pumpkin carving

So you just arrived home after a visit to the Pumpkin Patch. Now what? After your pumpkin patch visit, bring them home and decide what carving designs you can do together. There are numerous Halloween options, or there are also options for Thanksgiving, too! It might seem a bit cheesy, but it's going to be a fun activity you can work on together.

#3 Get cooking

Don't throw your extra Pumpkin away! Using an additional pumpkin, (or the insides of the carved pumpkins) cook seeds, make Pumpkin salsa, Pumpkin fritters, Pumpkin pie. You can make just about anything with a raw or cooked Pumpkin. Fall is the time to enjoy Pumpkin in all kinds of dishes. Check out more recipe ideas for Pumpkin!

Squash, apples, cranberries, pomegranates and kale are all in season in the fall, so take advantage of their abundance and deliciousness!


 Fall recipes are back, utilizing seasonal foods for you to whip up in a hurry or simmering over an entire day. Get some ideas for new hot dinner and lunches. Coming back from a cold day out is made better by a fall soup to heat you up.


#4 Apple picking

It's that time again. Apple picking is in order! We've talked about it before. You two should get out there and pick some crisp, juicy apples! Find a Chicago orchard and pick apples for cider, baking, or dip! Check out some apple recipes from the Food Network! Can you say, Yummy!?

#5 Walks in parks

The leaves are changing colors, the weather is refreshing and sunny. Nothing says fall like the colors. Enjoy the sights and smells on a leisurely walk through your neighborhood park.

#6 Get outta' town

There are so many beautiful areas across the country. Just outside your city are a host of quaint little towns. Haven't seen the foliage outside of your city? You might be amazed by a natural setting outside of your home town. Visiting National Park isn't just for the summer. Enjoy a leisure drive in a rural setting on the way there.

Sometimes going somewhere new can be exhilarating. Find a cute restaurant or coffee shop with some sort of specialty and give it a try!

#7 Look for local fall parades and farmers' markets

Farmers' Markets are a wonderful way to connect with seasonal, local, and organic ingredients grown near your own back yard. For our fellow Chicagoans, check out the schedule for Chicago Farmers' Markets. You probably have a budding farmers' market system in your city that you never knew about!

#8 Dress in warm clothing, turn the heat down, and have a picnic indoors

For those not interested in leaving or wanting a more intricate picnic menu, stay indoors. Put the couch pillows on the floor with a blanket over them, open the windows, dress warm and enjoy the easy access to your bedroom.



#9 Paint

When was the last time you both created something together? How about painting a new room? Or how about painting a design on your wall? When you create new things together, you'll use team work to make your furnishings a little brighter. Go on. It'll be fun!

#10 Try a cinnamon scented moisturizer or soap to inspire sweet smells and touches 

Does your apartment smell like dirty socks? It happens. How about smelling like Cinnamon sticks instead? Getting a little something new to change up your scent is surprisingly noticeable. You're used to a certain smell. Switching this up can make a big difference. You can also go for a different cologne or perfume--that'll make a big difference, too! Just check-in with your partner to make sure they like it.

#11 Go on a picnic

It isn't winter yet so take this opportunity to venture outdoors! This would be a great time to bring all your wonderful fall recipes to one nice experience. Take a look at some perfect picnic meals here. Go here for a more vegetarian picnic.

#12 Have Fall-themed potluck with other happy couples

Enjoying your time with other happy couples can make you realize the beauty of being married/coupled. Others are in love and that sparks your own interest. How about a potluck? Invite several other couples you know to a Fall-themed potluck!


#13 Watch ‘When Harry Met Sally’

The orgasm scene? When they met? How the story plays out? It gets me teary every time I think about it. Come now, gents. When was the last time you watched a romantic movie together? Bring on the popcorn, this one is going to be cute! When Harry Met Sally is the perfect fall romance movie.

#14 Think of Halloween costumes you would only wear for each other

Of course GetLusty has ideas for sexy Halloween costumes! Are you a thrift shopper? Maybe you love retail? Fall is the ideal time to get some sexy, crazy outfits. Costume shopping can be even more fun when you are buying something that's for your partner's eyes only.

#15 Work out together

At GetLusty for Couples, we believe health is one of the key pillars of an amazing sexual relationship. Exercise can be a wonderful activity to do together. You're both feeling fit, active, and happy. Of course we have workout ideas.

Top 9 Naked November Dates

#16 Naked board game night

Twister, anyone? Pick out your favorite game and make them a little more risqué. Make the stakes higher. For whoever wins, the sexy reward could involve cunnilingus, nipple play, or anything else sexy. Ever consider sexy monopoly? Oh, yeah.

#17 Watch a romantic movie

No clothes. No problem. Cuddle and revel in the adorable plots of a Fall-centered romantic comedy -- even if they're from 2004. "Last of the Mohicans"? OK, so it's a little bit of a tear-jerker. But cuddling naked could also lead to other fun times. 

#18 Play out the scene to a movie

There is nothing quite like holding onto your partner while playing out a scene from The Lord of the Rings! Is there a scene from a movie that you both know so well, you re-live it in your heads? Now how about naked? Being nude just makes everything more fun!

#19 Dance party!

Dance parties aren't just for Jersey Shore. This isn't the time to lower your heat. Get your own indoor dance party. Naked! You might even break a sweat. How about a quick shower after that dance party? Who hates showers with your lover? Thought so.


#20 Add something to your bed

Get a new set of sheets. This will make your abode feel even warmer and make it even harder to leave. Take Sunday morning cuddles to the next level with satin sheets. Don't tell me that won't feel luxurious and wonderful when you're naked!

#21 Enjoy morning coffee together

Wake up earlier, cuddle, drink coffee and have some sort of pastry, if possible. Coffee in the nude is so much fun! You could also pick up a variety of creamers (Pumpkin spice? Eggnog latte?) and enjoy a little cream! Be sure to let your coffee cool down first. We don't want anyone getting burned.

#22 Write a story together

Not just a story. Something creative. Do either of you paint? Write? Draw? Sit down together and share your passions. If you prefer to not be physically involved with another medium, read something you enjoy and lay together. Being creative while naked can take things to a different level.

#23 Bath time

When it's extra chilly, give your body some love with a bath or shower. Get clean, whip away the negative emotions from your body, and talk positively. How beautiful you are! How wonderful your partner is!

#24 Have a cider date

Want to have a sweet and alcoholic date? Try different types of cider! Get several different flavors and brands to find out your favorite. They go very well with fall foods as well.

Enjoy being together and enjoy Fall!

Brittany just moved to Chicago after finishing her degree from FSU and arrived with a thirst to learn about everything that has to do with sex. Having been involved with The F-Word, The Vagina Monologues, amateur drag and a Human Sexuality course she is a very sex positive lady. When she's not admiring architecture or looking for a design job, Brittany does stand-up comedy and thinks of ways to make people on the CTA feel uncomfortable. She also eats high-fives for breakfast. Follow her on twitter @sedanimal. E-mail her directly at brittany@getlusty.com.

4 Tips for Making Sex Amazing (Without the O)

It's getting toward the end of Orgasm October. We've talked a lot about orgasms. Having different kinds of female orgasms, surprise female orgasms, male multiple orgasms and beyond. It's totally normal to equate a really intense orgasm with great sex. What if we didn't have an orgasm? Tia Champagne is here again to talk about orgasms (or lack there-of) during sex.

* * *

Like many other contributors have already mentioned, achieving orgasm between 2 partners in a relationship requires some practice, communication, and trust. There has to be mental and physical arousal for the body to really finish what could be the highlight of sexual intercourse. However, who said having an orgasm means good sex? Not me.

We all know the definition of sex. Whether it includes oral, anal, or purely penetration, but how many of us really know what good sex is? And does good sex mean having a more than happy, but orgasmic ending? What I'll explain here is not necessarily. When it doesn't, it's not the be-all-and-end all of sex. In fact, it can be an extremely satisfying experience.

Below are 4 tips to feel fully satisfied (and amazing) without reaching orgasm.

#1 Drop the expectations

Having wonderful sex isn't just about having clitoral or other orgasm. Don’t have sex expecting to orgasm. Sometimes, our expectations only lead to disappointment.

You know that cliché quote that says something about life being a journey, not a destination? Well, think of orgasm in that way. If it happens, it happens. But what happens on the way is super important too. Enjoy your time together--be intimate and open. At times, your orgasm will happen. Other times, you might just learn a thing or two about your partner you might not have known otherwise.

#2 Don't be afraid of quickies

For some women, a quickie could be a great time--with or without orgasm. The spontaneity, the rush, and sometimes, the funny awkwardness of it all could be the best sex you’ve had. On the other hand, some women prefer to take an hour--half of that for foreplay and the other for just intercourse. Take the time, even if your partner has a raging boner, to explore each other. If he’s impatient and needs his kick, tease him. Don’t let him get it until you’re ready, too. Teasing doesn’t necessarily have to start before sex—it can also happen during. Moral of this story? Enjoy what’s going on in the moment and don’t focus too hard on what could happen later.

#3 Focus on the fun

When you’re not expecting to orgasm, sometimes you focus on the new tricks you want to try. Backwards cowgirl could be uncomfortable at first for a lot of women.

Maybe the penis is hitting the cervix too deeply. She might feel weird with her anus in his face, or maybe her legs aren’t long enough to get that full bounce.

Either way, when you’re not expecting an orgasm, you’re more likely to change up your routine to learn what other positions turn you on. Taking a little time out to focus on the newness of it all could actually be the best thing you and your partner ever did.

#4 Use your six senses

While doing it, do a little bit more. Don’t just focus on your vagina or his penis. Bite his ears, suck his nipples, smell his hair. Using your six senses could arouse you in a different way than stimulating your clitoris. Watch his penis slide in and out of you. All of a sudden, your partner is your own personal porn star! Allow yourself to watch, listen and feel what’s going on with both of your bodies and not just between the legs.

Overall, orgasm is wonderful. And just one more time for fun-sies, orgasms do make sex a great experience. But sex can also be great without it.

What do you think good sex is and why? Let me know by sending an email at tia@getlusty.com. If you have any questions, concerns, or fantasies you’d like to share—go ahead and email me or leave a comment below. I’d love to talk to ya.

Call her Tia Champagne. She's a recent graduate of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. During her college career, she was part of a volunteer group called the Sexual Health Peers where she bonded with like-minded, sex-positive people from various backgrounds and orientations. She has taught workshops on STDs, birth control, safe sex, and relationships. It was one of the highlights of her college career and allowed her to get involved in Planned Parenthood of Illinois in Action. She was a Campaign Organizer who stood for the reproductive rights of women in Illinois.

As a third-wave feminist, she currently works in the makeup industry promoting what she believes in: women should feel and be as beautiful as they want to without scrutiny. She believes in teaching factual and healthy outlooks on sex and relationships as a way to create a sex-positive culture where future generations can thrive. E-mail me directly at tia@getlusty.com.

Erotic Spanking: 9 Ways to Make it Hotter (NSFW)


If you read the first part of this series, Erotic Spanking: Positions and Toys, you've got a great idea about where to start your erotic spanking adventure! Do you want to take it a step further? In this second installment Rachel will explain different ways to build up the excitement with spanking-related foreplay, what kind of clothing works best or looks sexiest, and some great examples of different sexy scenarios to act out with your spanking! 

Remember, always get consent before introducing erotic play like spanking into your bedroom repertoire. As always we recommend you check out our negotiation 101 article before jumping to any kind of new sexy scenario. Our amazing Rachel Colias reports.

Foreplay


While spanking can be considered foreplay in itself, there are quite a few ways to really get the blood flowing before the spanking begins. Believe it or not there are people out there who can orgasm solely from the spanking, so we want to help prolong the excitement!

#1 Rub before you spank!  

Rubbing the spankee’s buttocks, generally causing a warm sensation and sometimes a pink coloring of the skin being rubbed, can be a great precursor to the spanking. If the spankee doesn’t want to be warned about when the spanking will begin, this is also a great way to really build the tension and excitement. At what point is the rubbing going to turn into spanking?

#2 Remove their clothes slowly

If you’re anything like me, the slow removing of a person’s clothes is just as exciting as any physical foreplay. If the spankee is wearing a skirt or dress over panties, it could be incredibly pleasurable for the spanker to lift, move, or remove the clothes themselves while the spankee is in position. It’s just as exciting as unwrapping a present!

#3 Dirty talk

If you’re participating in the spanking as part of a role play, talking dirty or setting the scene is a great way to start! But more on role play scenarios later.

#4 Give them a hand job or some head! 

Considering how close the spanker already is to the spankee’s genitals, why not warm-up the old-fashioned way? Rubbing the clitoris of a female-bodied person or introducing a dildo or vibrator can be an incredibly arousing way to prepare them for the spanking. Some may even want to orgasm beforehand! The same goes for male-bodied people; a lube-based hand job or performing fellatio is a great way to get started.

Costumes

The following costumes can be used for almost any sexual scenario or act, but have specific attributes that make them especially appropriate for spanking!

#5 Leather and spandex

As one would imagine, kink and BDSM culture play a part in erotic spanking. Outfits made from leather and latex are great for spanking, especially considering how tight they usually are. The tightness can allow for great over-the-clothes spanking and the materials resemble the toys themselves!

#6 Chaps

Anything with an open backside! That includes leather assless chaps and what’s considered “spanking skirts.” These skirts, as you can imagine, strap around the waist and thighs leaving the backside exposed. Dresses and standard skirts are great, too, when it comes to easy access.

#7 Sexy undies 

Considering what body part is being put on display for a spanking, any sort of sexy underwear-crotchless panties, ruffled panties, lace panties, thongs, etc-works just fine! The important thing to remember is to really show off your assets! Pun intended.

As I’ll outline soon, costumes relating to role play scenarios really heat things up too.

Role Play

Anyone who has ever experimented with role play or tried acting out fantasies knows how much fun they can be. The brain is one of your most erogenous zones and when you include that fantasy aspect with sex, well, it’s insanely amazing. And believe me, there are some great fantasies out there for you spankophiles!

#8 Dominance/submission

The dominant/submissive is great for spanking considering the power structure and exchange. With consent, of course, the spanker is in an incredibly dominant position while being bent over or restrained is incredibly fun for a submissive.

#9 Discipline 

Have you been bad? You deserve a spanking! Discipline is so much fun to play around with because there are so many potential scenarios!

A. You’re being sent to the principal
B. You’ve misbehaved at Catholic school
C. You were pulled over by a police officer and they just have to handcuff you
D. You’re being punished for orgasming before your dominant gave you permission
E. You broke one of “Daddy’s” rules

The possibilities are endless! But remember, you “deserve” the punishment.

Erotic spanking is great for so many reasons. Whether you’re a full-blown spankophile or have always wanted to give it a try, the levels of spanking range all over the pain-spectrum and the situation can always be adjusted for your and your partner’s comfort. If anything I’ve outlined get’s you a little hot and heavy, you should definitely give it a try!

This article was written by Rachel Colias. She’s currently getting her bachelors in English and Women’s and Gender studies and feels especially passionate about advocating for the importance of consent and communication.

Her hobbies include shopping for new vibrators, playing roller derby, and getting tattoos her mom doesn’t approve of. When she’s not writing for GetLusty or doing homework, she’s playing with her bearded dragon Terrance and you can generally find her reading comic books with her loving boyfriend of six years or eating pizza and watching Netflix. You can find and follow her Tumblr blog hereHave any questions? Email her at editorial@getlusty.com!
 
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