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Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts

Our 10 Favorite Feminist Porn Stars

We love porn! If you do too, and we assume you do, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this article, then you need to know about the following women. These aren't any ordinary porn stars. These are our top ten favorite feminist porn stars. GetLusty's Stephanie Kathleen takes a peek into the provocative lives of some incredibly unique feminists.

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#1 Dylan Ryan

The gorgeous and outspoken Ryan began her film career in 2004 at the urging of director and producer Shine Louise Heart. In 2009, she was the recipient of a Feminist Porn Award for Heartthrob of the Year. One of the top stars of the queer porn genre, Ryan strives to make unique and authentic films. Check out her blog, triple-xxx-ploits, to see her recent interview with Tristan Taormino. Also, follow her on Twitter @thedylanryan

#2 Belladonna

Since beginning her career in the adult entertainment industry in 1999, this stunning film star has practically revolutionized the industry. In 2003, she started her own production company, Belladonna Entertainment. She now produces and directs some of the most popular hardcore adult films in the world. We couldn’t possibly omit her from our list of favorites, as she is clearly a badass. Follow her on Twitter @BelladonnaENT

#3 Lily Cade

Though she is somewhat new to the adult film scene, this one-time dominatrix has already made a name for herself. A rising star in the lesbian porn genre, Cade made her directorial debut in 2011 with Art School Dykes. The film was nominated for a Feminist Porn Award. When she’s not busy filming, Cade is an outspoken activist. Yea, she pretty much rocks. Follow her on Twitter @lily_cade

#4 Judy Minx

It’s hard not to love Madame Minx. The French adult film actress is also a sex performer, a sex educator, and a queer/feminist/sex-positive activist…and she’s only 23! Oh, and did we mention she also holds a degree in English? Keep an eye on this porn prodigy, as we’re sure to see a lot more of her in the future. Follow her on Twitter @judyminx

#5 Ela Darling

This former librarian decided to make a major career change three years ago and began starring in lesbian, bondage and fetish porn. Prior to pursuing a career in porn, Darling earned both a Bachelor’s and Master’s degree. We gladly include her among our favorites because we think self-possessed, intelligent porn stars are incredibly sexy. If you don’t believe us, check out her website and see for yourself! Follow her on Twitter @ElaDarling

#6 Bobbi Starr


This pro-sex feminist porn star began her career doing bondage and submission scenes for internet-based companies. We love Ms. Starr’s philosophy when it comes to feminism and porn: “I believe that if women realize that sex is something that is there for them as well, then it is not necessary to hate sex to be a feminist. It is not just pleasurable for one person but is pleasurable for that person's partner as well.” She currently writes, directs and performs for the website Electrosluts, which she created. Check out her work here. Follow her on Twitter @Bobbistarr


#7 April Flores

A star of the BBW scene, April Flores describes herself as “a fearless voluptuous star with scarlet hair, proponent of the queer community, feminist, sex-positive activist, outspoken advocate of body diversity, glamorous art model, avid kink fan, Sub and Dom both, and all around powerful woman.” With numerous magazine covers and modeling appearances to her name, Miss Flores considers herself an activist for positive body image. Visit her website and you’ll quickly see why she made our list of favorites! Follow her on Twitter @Fatty_D

#8 Madison Young

Indie porn pioneer Madison Young considers herself “one of the world’s kinkiest feminists. “Her films are known for exploring the more artistic and authentic aspects of the pornographic experience. She also runs a nonprofit art gallery and performance space, which serves the LGBT and Kink communities. Do yourself a favor and pay a visit to her website. Now! Follow her on Twitter @madisonyoung

#9 Kelly Shibari

Not only is Kelly Shibari a prolific BBW porn actress, she’s also a successful businesswoman with a MENSA-level IQ. She also runs her own PR and social media marketing firm. In short, the woman is driven and she knows what she wants. Through her websites she is revolutionizing the BBW and BDSM genres. Our interview with Kelly is coming out soon. Stay tuned! Follow her on Twitter: Follow her on Twitter @KellyShibari

#10 Maggie Mayhem

As one half of the dynamic duo behind the porn website Meet The Mayhems, Maggie Mayhem is a porn star with an eclectic style. In her words: “When it comes to sex, Maggie identifies as a queer, slutty kinkster. Neither wholly dominant nor submissive Maggie is always on the lookout for wild, adventurous fun with anyone who sparks her interest.” We’re crushing on Maggie not just because of her amazing on-screen talent, but also because of the dedicated work she has done and continues to do in the way of HIV prevention. Check her out! Follow her on Twitter @MsMaggieMayhem

We're excited to have Stephanie Kathleen on as a staff writer! Stephanie has long believed she is a gay man trapped in a woman's body. She is a lover of good food, good sex and good grammar. A recent transplant to Chicago, she spends her free time with her super-duper-fly boyfriend and their three "kids" (2 cats, 1 dog). She has a blog. She's still trying to get the whole Twitter thing down. You can follow her @Vanderfloozie. Want to get in touch with her? E-mail stephanie@getlusty.com.

Carol Queen Opens Up on Sex & Sexuality

Here at GetLusty, we love talking to experts. From sexologists to therapists and in between. Well, Carol is way past that. Here, we call Carol, "The Queen of Sex Ed." She's been involved in sex education since the 1970s.

Today, Carol dishes out some of the best things she's encountered. We caught up with this busy lady and asked her a few questions of her most interesting moments of recent. Check out several of the questions GetLusty's Erica Grigg asked in our GetLusty interview below.

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How did you get into sex education?

The pretty short answer is, I have been a member of the LGBT community since the 1970s (I'm bisexual). Back in the day, college gay groups would do panels and lectures to give non-biased information about these issues. I liked doing those, and then just a few years later I was doing many more, in the context of the HIV/AIDS epidemic. That's when I realized sex education was both a calling for me, and a possible profession. I moved to San Francisco and started working on my PhD in sexology at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, as well as volunteering with San Francisco Sex Information, a non-profit sex ed hotline which trained its volunteers extensively--I was its co-training coordinator for a while.

Around that time I met Joani Blank, founder of Good Vibrations. She hired me to work one day a week in the store, but when they found out I was training in sexology I was asked to create GV's Continuing Education program. The full range of our ed programming grew out of this (except the classes aimed at the public -- we were already doing those), and when I got my doctorate, my job title changed to "Staff Sexologist" -- to our knowledge, we were the first adult company to have a trained sexologist on staff. Now my job involves overseeing our educational programming, supporting frontline staff who get tough or unusual sex questions from customers, representing the business to the press and public, and answering customer questions, which I do here.

Subsequently my partner Robert and I, who had been doing classes together in SF and all around the country, created a nonprofit, the Center for Sex & Culture, to host such classes and other events such as community organizations' meetings, cultural events about sex, etc. We also have a library and archive plus a gallery. More info about that at Sex & Culture -- there are class and event listings, plus more about the non-profit, and "donate here" button, etc.

Would you call yourself the 'queen of sex ed' (because we're thinking that'd be an apt title for you)?

That's cute! While it's not my own moniker for myself, I'm good with it.

What's the most interesting story you have of a couple coming to you with sexual issues?

What comes to mind is a GV customer who reached out to me with a thorny issue in his marriage. His wife, an attorney, had semi-recently had their first child; the child's first birthday was looming soon, and she had not been open to having sex with her husband since before the birth. I asked him whether this was a huge change from an enthusiastic sex partner (prior to her pregnancy) and he said no, not really, she was always fairly lukewarm and perhaps somewhat uncomfortable about sex.

Many elements of this story are not too uncommon, either: Our Mommy Playdates attract young moms, some of whom really struggle with "getting back in the saddle" after having babies. And of course there are plenty of women who have never (so far!) discovered the key to loving sex; those women don't all stay single, though, and this can be a thorny issue in a relationship.

What did you recommend for them?

Well, every couple has two participants, of course. And in a situation like this, each has to understand their perspective and what they bring to the situation. To (hopefully) help this couple, there were a number of elements I had to bring up. The first was explaining to the husband that pressure or wheedling would never work; gently educating him that her lack of comfort about sex would be something he'd have to be understanding and supportive around, or she'd have NO incentive to change. Finally, advising that she be frank with her doctor about the post-partum elements (I didn't think that was the main problem, but it could certainly have been exacerbated by hormonal changes, and any precipitous drop in sexual interest could be a symptom of a medical problem).

Plus there was her original lukewarm feeling about sex; was she without correct sex education and unable to understand (and convey to her husband) they way her arousal worked? Had she perhaps been abused or had other negative sexual experiences, including growing up in a household where sex was represented as shameful? Was she non-orgasmic? I recommended a number of books for her. In a situation like this, she really must take some responsibility. While I don't believe that it is in any way the role of a wife to please her husband, a marriage without sex is not appropriate unless both partners want that or unless the issues involved are spelled out. If she has no interest in ever changing her relationship to sexuality, he deserves to know this. I also recommended they see a sex therapist, if she would go.

What's the most interesting thing you've learned about sex lately?

Just two weeks ago I was at a great conference at Widener University in PA -- it has one of the most substantial sex ed professional programs anywhere, and the conference was specifically for those who are interested in sex education as a career. I was there to keynote it, which was a real honor, especially because one of the biggest stars in sexology was present, Beverly Whipple. She is the professional and most associated with information about the G-spot; she has continued to research it and stays in touch with others who also do such research. It is finally being officially regarded as "the female prostate," and her update was that actual G-spot ejaculation is not super-copious and that when G-spot ejaculators gush a lot of fluid and make a huge wet spot, that fluid is now thought to be very dilute urine. It's not yet understood just how the urine, in a situation of arousal like this, becomes so dilute; there is still much to learn about this part of our anatomy.

What's your favorite book around sex education?

I have so many faves! I really can't pick just one, at least not for long, since great new books keep coming out. I think my current favorite book is Jaclyn Friedman's What You Really, Really Want. It's about limits and desires, really an excellent way for (especially) young women (but really everyone) to think about integrating sexuality in a healthy and fulfilling way into their lives. I love this book! It's one of the ones I recommended to the low-desire wife I mentioned above. Your readers might also be interested in the recommended book lists I've compiled both for my own website and on the Good Vibes site.

What are you most looking forward to over the next year?

I have a fantastic working trip planned for next spring; will go to South By Southwest in Austin, TX (my first time there!) to do a panel about the history of sex in technology, followed by a trip to CatalystCon East -- Catalyst is one of my very favorite sex conferences (here's a list that includes it plus some others). I travel two or three times a year to sexuality-related events, and it's one of my favorite ways to take the pulse of community interests and discussions about sexual topics.

Plus, I have a new book I'm getting started on! Not sure how soon it will come to fruition, but its working title is The Elements of Sex-Positivity.

More about Carol Queen:

Carol Queen is a writer, educator, activist with a doctorate in Sexology and an organizer in the GLBTQ community with some of the first youth-oriented approaches. She publishes a regular sex and relationship column on Good Vibes.

She is an owner/worker at the Good Vibrations toy and book emporium and The Center for Sexuality and Culture where she provides training and educational workshops for the staff and public. Her list of books can be found here and more information on Carol Queen can be found on her website CarolQueen.com. Follow Carol on Twitter @carolqueen and 'Like' her on Facebook.

In 1975, Carol helped found GAYouth (one of the first groups for underage Gays and Lesbians in the nation) in Eugene, Oregon. She served as director of the Gay and Lesbian student union at my university later in that decade and was on the steering committee of Eugene Citizens for Human Rights, founded to preserve gay rights which were under attack from right-wing forces. In 1988, she was director of education at the community-based AIDS education and support project in Eugene. Her training (after graduating with a major in sociology, a Phi Beta Kappa, and a stint in graduate school) comes from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, San Francisco's graduate school of sexology - and, of course, from the school of life.

Your Vagina is Beautiful: 10 Artful Pics (NSFW)

Dear Readers,

It's getting towards the end of Orgasm October, so we wanted to emphasize the importance of your vulva and vagina! Sometimes we as ladies don't think our vulvas and vaginas are pretty. Not true.

They're lovely in all shapes, colors and sizes. Here's a compilation of pictures from our favorite blog, the Beauty of Vagina's Tumblr.

We're also very inspired by the gorgeous Vulva 101 coffee table book we recently received in the mail. Check out these gorgeous pictures! Enjoy your vulva's, vagina's and your body.

We've included this top picture so you can share this page freely on social media. Do share your vulva love!

With love,
Erica Grigg
Chief Lust Officer & Editor

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Love what you're reading? Don't forget to sign up for our beta launch starting December 1!

30 Must-'Like' Sex-Positive Facebook Pages

Facebook is a great place to connect with like-minded people and get daily updates from your favorite sex-positive communities and businesses.

GetLusty for Couples loves seeing our articles being 'Liked' and shared by our viewers and we love to share other people's articles as well. Here is a list of 30 sex-positive Facebook pages that we love seeing posts from everyday!

Be sure to 'Like' them on Facebook and get their awesome updates on your feed! Speaking of Facebook, have a spare minute? End boring sex and enter to win a VulvaLoveLovely creation by 'Liking' GetLusty for Couples on Facebook!

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Without ado, below are our best recommendations for sex-positive individuals and pages on Facebook! 

Mama Sutra Facebook Like
1. The Mama Sutra

"Mother of two girls. Holds a Bachelor of Science (Psychology) and a Certificate in Women's Studies from UW-Madison. Graduate of IASHS as Master of Human Sexuality. I strive to normalize conversations about sex and sexuality between parents and their children."
    2. Bring Back Desire

    "Mission: To help women rediscover their sensual pleasure and fulfillment while creating deeper and more intimate relationships, with their beloved Self and their beloved partner."
      3. NotSoSecret

      "Mission: We're coming, we're coming... but not quite yet. To shine a bright light on feminine sexuality in a way that inspires women to enjoy the fullest possible spectrum of awesome sex in a way that is informative, entertaining and inspiring."
        4. Pleasure Coach

        "The Pleasure Coach is for women, men and couples, who come from all walks of life, different backgrounds and philosophies. However, even with all of that, they can be invited to come here and find information about sex, sexuality, intimacy and much, much more about the intimate side of life."
          5. Lady Cheeky

          "Writer and sex-positive activist Lady Cheeky started her erotica and sensual images blog in 2010 as a way to communicate with her faraway lover. Since then, Lady Cheeky has evolved into a place of candid self-discovery for her and her readers."
            good vibrations sex shop logo
            6. Good Vibrations

            "Mission: Good Vibrations is a diverse, woman-focused retailer providing high-quality, sex-positive products and non-judgmental, accurate sex information through our clean and comfortable stores, catalog, web site, wholesale division, product and movie production lines in order to enhance our customers’ sex lives and promote healthy attitudes about sex."
              7. The Turned On Woman

              "Mission: To awaken. Ourselves and others. To start fires. To ignite. To catalyze. Turned-on women are changing the world. Your presence is requested."
                8. The Feminist Porn Archive and Research Project

                "Canada’s only funded academic study of feminist porn, the Feminist Porn Archive and Research Project seeks to document, research, support and collect materials, films, videos, dvd, online websites, posters, magazines and 'zine, news and articles about porn made by feminists."
                  9. Cliterati

                  "The original erotica site for women: sex-ed for adults, artcore (erotic art of all kinds), sex news, analysis and comment, reviews, advice and style."
                    10. The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health

                    "A physical space for adults to learn medically accurate information relating to sexual pleasure, health and advocacy."
                      11. The Passion Doctor

                      "This page is for couples & singles who want to have more passion in their lives. -Dr. Adam Sheck"
                          12. Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance

                          "Mission: To Affirm Sexual Freedom as a Fundamental Human Right"
                            13. Sexy Living with Dr. Carlen

                            "As a Sexologist, 'Sexy Living with Dr. Carlen' is the creation of a safe space in order to discuss concerns, desires or general questions in regards to your relationship with your partner, yourself, and others."
                              14. Sexy Grammar

                              "Arouse The Writer: Custom Edits, Private Sessions, and Intimate Workshops for academics, entrepreneurs, and creative writers since 2003."
                                15. Ducky Doo Little

                                "Ducky is a frequent guest lecturer and performer for events that focus on welcoming new students, safer sex practice, STD education & awareness, health & wellness resources on campus, LGBT rights, sexual assault prevention, intimate partner violence awareness, alcohol & substance abuse awareness, and boosting self-esteem."
                                  16. ErogenoUS

                                  "Navigating the erotic life of one woman, without a helmet or a safety harness."
                                    17. Hey Epiphora

                                    "Mission: To conquer the world one sex toy at a time."
                                      18. Joan Price 

                                      "Enrich your sex life with the expert tips and real-people stories in Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, my award-winning book about sex & aging."
                                        19. The Sensual Life 

                                        "Mission: The Sensual Life is nothing more…or less…than a reminder that life itself is a sensual journey. And that living a sensual, turned-on life includes feeling and experiencing everything… work, art, music… arguments, lovemaking, eating… poetry, dance, stories… walking down the street, gardening, being quiet… …as an expression of our sensuality, alive in the world."
                                          20. Make Love Not Porn

                                          "We like great porn. We like great sex. They're not always the same thing."
                                            21. Feelmore510 

                                            "Oakland's 1st Progressive Adult Store located in the Uptown District of Downtown Oakland. 1st Impressions are very important. Give us a try."
                                              22. My Sex Professor 

                                              "Mission: We aim to help you learn how to have better sex and optimal sexual health and pleasure. Toward this goal, we want you to have top-notch information about sex, your body, other people’s bodies, communication, relationships, tips, tricks, techniques, gender, sexual orientation, sex research, health and wellness, and the latest and greatest sexual enhancement products. We’re here to help, to educate and to entertain."
                                                23. The Body is Not an Apology 

                                                "Mission: The Body Is Not an Apology is a resource to promote, demonstrate, and assist in the development of a global movement toward radical self love and body empowerment. We believe that each time one of us unapologetically owns our beauty, loves our scars, heals our shame; we in turn give others permission to do the same! We believe that discrimination, social inequality and injustice are manifestations of our inability to make peace with the body, our own and others. Through education, personal transformation projects and community building, The Body is Not an Apology fosters global, radical, unapologetic self love which translates to radical human action in service toward a more just and compassionate world."
                                                  24. Sex Nerd Sandra 

                                                  "Currently, Sandra works and teaches at an adult boutique in Los Angeles. She enjoys teaching workshops to curious couples and singles on a wide range of topics. When not facilitating sexually-charged laughter for large crowds, she enjoys sassy and meaningful discussionswith her coaching clients."
                                                    25. Rachel Kramer Bussel 

                                                    "Rachel Kramer Bussel is a New York-based author, editor, blogger and event organizer. Rachel conducts reading and erotic writing workshops worldwide."
                                                      26. Early to Bed 

                                                      "Early to Bed is a feminist sex toy shop in Chicago. Women-owned and oriented, boy and trans-friendly, the store has a relaxed atmosphere that is different from your average sex shop."
                                                        27. Tristan Taormino 

                                                        "Tristan Taormino is an award-winning author, columnist, editor, and sex educator. She is the author of seven books and editor of twenty-five anthologies, including founding series editor of the Lambda Literary Award-winning Best Lesbian Erotica. She runs her own adult film production company, Smart Ass Productions, and she has directed and produced twenty-four adult films. She was a syndicated sex columnist for The Village Voice for nine and a half years, and writes an advice column for Taboo Magazine. She is the host of “Sex Out Loud” on The VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network. She lectures at top colleges and universities and teaches sex and relationship workshops around the world."
                                                          28. Petra Joy Films 

                                                          "Porn from a female perspective!"
                                                            29. Megan Stubbs 

                                                            "Dr. Megan Stubbs is a Grand Rapids-based Sexologist. She holds a doctor of education in Human Sexuality from San Francisco’s Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and a degree in Biology from Grand Valley State University. She is also Board Certified by the American College of Sexologists (ACS)." 
                                                              30. Sexual Intelligence Blog

                                                              "Sex -- and Culture, Politics, the Media -- and Sex, by Dr. Marty Klein"

                                                              Comments, questions or other recommendations we missed? Comment below!

                                                              Don't forget to also 'Like' GetLusty for Couples on Facebook, too!
                                                                Rachael is our own marketing specialist and on special occasions a writer. She spends her time researching and creating art revolving around sci-fi, the internet, and now sex! Rachael lives and works in Chicago with her boyfriend and kawaii pet guinea pig Tony Hawk. Find out more at rachaelmilton.net.
                                                                 Have any questions? Get in touch via rachael@getlusty.com.

                                                                Winning the War Against the Vagina

                                                                We've talked in recent months about the crazy things that have happened around women's reproductive rights. For GetLusty, these rights are absolutely pivotal. We're a company run by women, and geared especially towards women. So this article spoke to us. We wanted to share it. Without adieu, Tantra expert Devi Ward explains why there's a war on the vagina and what you can do about it.

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                                                                There is a war going on my friends. Make no mistake. And it’s a war on women. An organized assault against our sexuality, our personal expression. Yes my friends, yet again, our reproductive rights. The very white, male and mainstream Republican party have proclaimed self-appointed stewardship over our pussies, and it’s time to take them back.

                                                                “But I already own my pussy,” you may think. Well I am here to tell you that although it may be physically attached to your body, it is not yours to do with as you wish, with whom you wish. Why? Two reasons (detailed below).

                                                                Our culture condones oppression of the sexually expressive 

                                                                You live in a culture that condones oppression against sexually expressive women. “Slut shaming” is a term used to describe the verbal and social denigration of a woman who engages in sexual activity outside of prescribed social moral boundaries. Slut shaming is verbally and emotionally violent. And it only occurs towards women. Slut shaming is a direct expression of social disapproval of a woman’s sexual behavior, (i.e. what she is doing with her pussy, with whom and how much).

                                                                You know for certain that slut shaming is occurring when women are being vilified for their sexual expression, (most recent example being Kristin Stewart) and the men with whom they have engaged sexually are completely ignored, and their “transgressions” are overlooked. “Boys will be boys.”

                                                                As a result of our need for social acceptance, we typically avoid engaging in behavior that our culture has conditioned us to believe is “wrong,” and that could cause us to be ostracized or ridiculed in any way. This applies to our sexual expression more than anything. As a result of this subconscious fear we hold back from exploring, expressing, or even fully enjoying our sexuality, and tend to let men (society) inform us what sexual behavior is acceptable for “good girls” to engage in, and what is not.

                                                                The healing begins with communities of women, supporting each other in reclaiming connection to their sexual pleasure and celebrating unbridled sensual expression. United we stand, divided we fall. Pussies of the world unite.

                                                                So what can you do?

                                                                #1 Get educated  

                                                                Our sexual potential as women is fucking mind bowing. Literally. With over 8 (11 or more) kinds of orgasm that we can experience, very few of us have tapped our full orgasmic potential. Why is this important? Because sexual energy is life energy. It opens your heart, frees your mind and heals your body. That is power! And it is your power. Your birthright. Fucking claim it.

                                                                #2 Masturbate 

                                                                Yes. Do it. Do it a lot, in a variety of different ways. Explore your vagina. Don’t wait for the right man to come along and give you permission to experience sexual pleasure. It is yours for the taking, right now. The best way to own your pussy is to touch your pussy. A lot.

                                                                #3 Dance 

                                                                Believe it or not, we hold many of these subconscious restrictions to our sexual self-expression in our bodies, particularly the pelvis.

                                                                Opening your lower body with the pelvic movements and sacred erotic dance will make a deep impact on your life, because you have to feel your vulva and vagina to do these movements.

                                                                You will discover the power of your pussy in a whole new way. I like to say “free your ass and your mind will follow.” Our empowerment as women is directly related to the level of freedom and comfort we feel with our sexual expression. If we are emotionally imprisoned by fear, guilt, and sexual shame, we are partially crippled as human beings, and will die without having realized our full personal, emotional, or spiritual potential.

                                                                I invite women everywhere to step up and step out of the psychological prison of sexual repression and claim your birthright to sexual pleasure. The revolution begins in your vagina. Own it.

                                                                Let me know if you liked this post below, and share it! Spread the word and start a revolution.

                                                                Originally posted on Devi's wonderful blog here.


                                                                Devi is the Founder of Feminine Emergence and creator of Sacred Erotic Dance™; a Movement-Healing modality that uses The 5 Core Pelvic Movements™, Authentic Tantra™ & Sensual Dance, to produce physical, emotional and spiritual healing in our relationship to sexual and sensual self-expression. Her new book “Shake Your Soul Song! A Woman’s Guide To Self-Empowerment Through The Art of Self-Pleasure” will release in October 2012. Follow Devi on Twitter @deviwardtantra and on Facebook.

                                                                Could Porn Help Deter Sexual Violence?



                                                                We've been talking about porn a lot lately. We've debated some of the reasons our readers might object to porn. Of course, Camille Crimson named 5 ways porn can be beautiful. GetLusty's Mary-Margaret Sweene also talked about confronting our fear of porn. Today, Dr. Carlen is talking from her point of view why porn may be more important to the sexual lives of North Americans than we sometimes think. Indeed, she argues that she agrees with a Scientific American Mind article that tested porn actually lead to reduced sexual violence against women. Either way you believe on the spectrum, we appreciate your feedback. Feel free to comment below!

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                                                                Don’t let me tell you some of my other favourite four letter words (and some 5 letter ones too). We would be here for a while. I recently read an article titled “Does porn actually help deter sexual violence?”. As a Sexologist, and due to the evidence of studies quoted in the article, I’d have to completely agree with what is being written here. From the article, “[Pornography] does not promote sexism. It does not promote sexual violence. In fact, it may make some porn consumers less likely to commit sexual crimes, says an article in the July 2011 edition of Scientific American Mind.”

                                                                Let’s be honest. As women, and as a self identified humanist, with feminist qualities women get the short end of the stick. Our wages are imbalanced. Because of our physiology our governments and capitalism demean our worth. And we still unfortunately live in a highly patriarchal society. So, why don't we blame that? Blame the ancient ideologies that we as a society clearly still cater to.

                                                                Pornography is not harmful to men or women. There are aspects of pornography which do offend, but everyone is entitled to an opinion. Before cleanly and abruptly dismissing tools which can actually influence a positive effect towards the development of intimacy for many couples, we need to consider the educational side.

                                                                For those of you who are interested, yes the sex worker industry does need attention. There are a countless number of ways that the industry in its entirety needs to be regulated. Consider healthcare, taxed and given structure for equal proprietorship. Pornography may have a negative influence upon you. But this depends on your pre-exisiting conscience and sub-science assessment of understanding. Inclusive of pre-existing religious notions, cultural and sociogical influences, and just plainly whatever you learned in life.

                                                                In terms of its use as a tool, it can be effective in normalizing behaviours, feelings, fantasies and attitudes for all people who may feel uncomfortable with the very conversation of anything sexual on every level. Regulation of the industry does need to happen in order to protect and guarantee that basic human rights are not being infringed upon for all involved. But that is the conversation worth having, not dismissing the industry on the whole.

                                                                Especially in London, Ontario. There has been a large crusade to get rid of pornography all together. How backwards is this? To me, this kind of sounds like the 1950’s where our communities propagated to put women back in the kitchen and treat us like soft little toys. Are you trying to tell me that because I am a woman I can’t handle it? Are you trying to tell me that as a woman, I’m too, “weak” or I’ve become some sort of, “victim” because I’m horny as hell? That I can't engage in a form of consensual activity with whomever and however many I choose?

                                                                Yes. That is what removing pornography is telling me. Allowing for persons to have outlets, that are safe, that are consensual and that do not cause harm unto others is what the adult industry is all about. In case you didn’t know, those of us in the field have began to move away from the word pornography due to the negative connotations that have become associated with the word. Therefore, we use terms such as erotic films, adult industry, and the characteristic terms of the acts being portrayed. For example, BDSM, homo-erotic, and other types of play. Why? In order to uplift and create positive dialogue behind the real issues of the industry, not that people are having sex. that’s obvious. Videos, and other such similar forms of pornography are outlets. Ways that compliment our ability to fantasize and increase our desire and sensual pleasure.

                                                                Sure, adult videos may have influenced a push towards the increase of plastic boobs, and hairless vulvas. So did Desperate Housewives. But that’s also part of the originial problem of the commodifation of persons as objects and devolvement of misogyny on women at all levels. But now they have so many variations of pornography. Big busted, gay male, feminist, threesome, group, toys. The list goes on and on! If anything, I would say the pornography industry is actually the most inclusive market in the world. Where everyone is hot, and everyone gets off.

                                                                So now what?

                                                                This city is trying to satisfy the complaints of a few people. On the other hand, it's ignoring not only the tourism industry (thus creating jobs; btw; did we forget that London has a sky-rocketing unemployment rate?). What about  the healthy sexual needs of the majority? In the privacy of their own homes. They feel guilt or shame because something that you don’t understand is inflicting orgasms. Oh wait! Harm. Yes, harm I think is the term some people are using these days.

                                                                When people don’t understand things it is unfortunate that instead of seeking information and educating themselves there is an automatic induction of fear. Didn’t someone once say, if something scares you that’s all the more reason to jump into the face of adversity, face your fears and conquer the world! Ok well, not in so many words, but you get it!

                                                                “So it seems porn is not inherently bad. Misogynistic producers and directors make it bad”. Big difference. I honesty think that we look at an industry as pornography and give it too much power. We instead need to be able to digress and choose to understand it, and mold it into a healthy medium and positive outlet.

                                                                Originally posted on Dr. Carlen's Sexy Living Tumblr.

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                                                                Dr. Carlen Costa is pretty awesome. A resident of London, Ontario in Canada, she's making waves in London and beyond.

                                                                As a Sexologist, "Sexy Living with Dr. Carlen" is the creation of a safe space in order to discuss concerns, desires or general questions in regards to your relationship with your partner, yourself, and others. Send me questions, send me your thoughts! Through this we will cater to all orientations, genders and age groups. We are all Sexy beings, and should feel as such in our own skins. Find Dr. Carlen on Twitter @DrCarlen and 'Like' her Facebook page.
                                                                 
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