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Showing posts with label body image. Show all posts
Showing posts with label body image. Show all posts

Getting Over Shame Through Nude Photography (NSFW)



It's already nearly mid-way through Naked November, so we've been thinking about nudity a lot. We support getting naked in all forms, including photography. What better way to show off your beauty than getting photographed? An intimate photographer, the artist behind 101 Vagina, is here to talk about how nude photography could decrease your shame of getting naked. Why? Read on!

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I do a fair bit of nude photography, but almost exclusively of women, so how does this relate to couples? Well, let me tell you a story.

A friend of mine, Eva, was complimenting some of my photos in a series of clay covered nudes and since I mostly shoot friends, I remarked that it could be her in those photos. She chuckled, declined and said she had a lot of body image issues. Stunning as she is I was not surprised since this is unfortunately all too common.

To combat one particular body image issue and taboo I have also been working on a coffee table photo book called 101 Vagina, a collection of 101 photos with a message from each of the women. When this arose in conversation I again asked if she might be interested in participating. Again she declined.

But her compliments kept coming and I suggested she might appreciate seeing herself through fresh eyes. In the end it was her boyfriend who emboldened her, saying it might help her get over some of her negative body image. So she got in touch to participate, in both projects no less.

Most people are a little awkward in front of a camera at first, but Eva was almost inconsolable. She was visibly struggling, so I went to give her a hug. I was stunned. Her whole body was shaking, from the inside, as if some massive tectonic plates were shifting in her character, dislodging old and strong patterns of shame. I had never witnessed anyone confront such massive fear, and have the courage to go ahead in spite of it. Massive kudos to her!

As it turned out it didn't take long for her to relax into the shoot and we got some great images. She could hardly believe that the images were of her, seeing herself through my eyes allowed her to see the beauty in my beholder's eye, rather than the critic in hers.

The next day Eva wrote to me me that she looked at herself in the mirror naked for the first time ever!

More recently she shared this about how it affected her relationship. "It certainly has changed our relationship, firstly I was so amazed and felt so loved when he told me to go ahead with something that I thought most guys would discourage. When I sent him the pics I was really nervous, and I was so happy to hear that he loved them. I'm much less shy around him now, and find it slightly easier to talk to him about my body."

Witnessing such shifts is the reward for the conscious nude photographer. But it was not always so.

My journey with nude photography began many years before I ever took a nude photograph; in my mind. I dreamed of doing it ever since I became sexually aware but there was a huge barrier in the way. That barrier was shame. My mother was a fairly strong feminist and the message I inadvertently internalised was that male sexual desire is the root cause of all evil in the world, that nudes are degrading and people who take them akin to murderers. And yet I loved the images.

Perhaps fittingly it was a woman who finally invited me into the world of nude photography, and that first experience, and all that followed, have worked to reverse my inhibitions. It was a healing process for me, an affirmation that my appreciation of the female form is not only tolerated, but appreciated. Further to that, it was often a healing experience for the women also.

Any shame we hold around our bodies and sexuality will always impact on the way we share ourselves with others. Shame is a powerful hindrance to happiness and it does not dislodge easily. If it's easy to talk about it's not shame you're dealing with. Shame is the last thing we want to talk about, ever. But it's the first step to really being honest and connecting with ourselves and others.

Philip Werner is a Melbourne (Australia) based photographer (philipwernerfoto.com), web-designer, meditator, furniture maker (lazydeckchairs.com.au), thinker, engineer, shit-stirrer and perhaps soon-to-be book publisher (101vagina.com).

He has travelled the external and internal world extensively and gotten a closer understanding of each in the process. His photographic portrait work demonstrates this awareness through the depth of presence he captures in his subjects, bringing their internal world to light in the external form of their bodies. Follow him on Twitter & Facebook.

Jill Abrahams on Why Embrace Your Sexuality



Women's sexuality. It's one of those things that's near and dear to our hearts. At GetLusty, we're all some form feminists so we place a great importance on defining and empowering women's sexuality. We interviewed Jill Abrahams, the Executive Producer/Founder of CherryTV, to get her take on what led to her embracing her sexuality and beliefs.

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How did you get to starting CherryTV? Why did you start it? What's your story?

I started CherryTV because the content that I desired wasn’t available. This blog post provides much of the information. This fact sheet attached was included in our press kit when we launched in 2008. And the featured video of our indiegogo campaign also gives great background!

Why is women's sexuality important to you?

I went for years thinking I was “broken.” I also didn’t enjoy sex and understand what the big deal was – and therefore felt inadequate in bed. And I felt alone … that I was the only one who felt this way. Upon learning that other women go through similar experiences – and beginning the journey in overcoming my hurdles … I wanted to help others. They say the most important things in life are having someone to love and to have work in which you feel inspired by. The notion that I could use my professional experience to help women feel more confident, comfortable and fulfilled in bed was a awesome.

Do you consider yourself a feminist? 

Yes despite the fact that I’m not really sure what it means anymore. Do I believe men and women deserve equality in all accounts – yes. Do I believe American society oppresses women – yes!

If so/ if not, why? We live in a patriarchal society in which men make the rules. If men were the ones to get pregnant – abortion and birth control would be a non-issue. The “establishment” has kept women down – and whatever we can do to correct that is worthwhile.

In terms of sex -- I do believe men and women are different in the way they relate to each other on an intimate level. And while we all want to be cherished, loved and respected – the way in which the different sexes (and note, I’m not saying gender – because that’s really not within my area of expertise. CherryTV is basically a hetero-normative site for women) need their appreciate for the other expressed tend to be different based simply on biology.

If women would embrace our sexuality, what would that look like?

I think women would feel they have more of a voice in the bedroom – a right (and obligation) to tell their partner what they want and how they are feeling. I also believe women would no longer feel they need to “perform” in bed – be the sex partner they’re man wants – and as opposed to an equal part of the equation. I would like to believe women would also become more comfortable with their “womanly” bodies – and not feel obligated to fit in to the media-dictated ideal.

If we embraced our sexuality I also believe women would, in general, feel a greater sense of strength and agency in all their activities. We would exhibit, I like to think (and know from personal experience) an increased ownership over work and environment. For example – women have a harder time discussing salary during job interviews than men. What’s up with that? If we felt empowered sexually, I like to think it would “trickle down” into all our activities. I often think, and remind my girlfriends, “would a man handle it that way??”

Lastly, if we were able to increase our belief in the power of our sexuality Mae West would become a bigger icon than Marilyn Monroe. Marilyn represented the female ideal for men, Mae West on the other hand was in control; unabashedly a women in command of her sexuality.

If you had three tips for women to feel sexier, what would they be? 

Masturbate regularly – switch it up, if need be, between manual and vibrator; Realize media’s idealization of the perfect female body is unrealistic and most men love “having something to grab on to.” Embrace the fact that you can have great sex without being “sexy” in the way mainstream culture dictates.

Tell your partner exactly what you like and want – if it’s more kissing, touching, AND compliments… whatever. Sensuality is both physical and emotional – and knowing your partner desires you is a turn on that resonates throughout our being. Compliments, just like the increased closeness experienced from physical intimacy, effect our well being and sexual selves!

How do you use your own sexuality to live a better life? 

As someone who is comfortable with her sexuality, I have found that my sense of “friskiness” (in the appropriate setting) rubs off on others. People are therefore more open and relaxed – and we all have a better time. I have also become the go-to for questions from girlfriends, and that feels good! What are you looking forward to over the next 6-12 months? Relaunching the CherryTV.com website (with support from our indiegogo compaign, creating new videos, and integrating partner content!

More about Jill:


Jill Abrahams is the Executive Producer/Founder of CherryTV.com. She's worked on the internet and in television for more than 15 years. Prior to creating CherryTV.com, Jill produced content and developed strategies for web-based, interactive programming at media outlets such as Rainbow Media and the Russian Media Group.

In 1998, Jill expanded her production work at Pseudo as founder and executive producer of Cherrybomb.com, CherryTV.com’s predecessor. It was then that Jill first developed a firm commitment to helping women develop sexual confidence by producing programming that honestly reflects women’s sexual needs and interests. Prior to her work at Pseudo, Jill honed her video production skills during a four-year stint as a producer for the then-fledgling Food Network. Originally hired as a Production Assistant and the Network’s tenth employee, Jill learned first-hand what it takes to build a successful media outlet from the ground up.

Jill began her initial preparations for a career in media during college, earning a BA from the School of Journalism at the University of Wisconsin, Madison.

Burlesque 101: What's Behind the Art of Tease

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7 Reasons You Should Sleep Naked

Naked November is finally here! Unless you are a nudist, you spend most of your time clothed. We are so used to being bundled up that we have no clue what we look like au naturale. Naked November at GetLusty.com is all about shedding your layers, physically and emotionally, and getting naked! If you are new to this whole naked thing, there is some good news! You have about 8 hours in a day where you can be naked in a safe and comfortable environment. Sleeping naked is freeing and we recommend it! So strip down and hop into bed. GetLusty's Lora Swarts is here with 7 reasons to start sleeping in the buff!

Note: If you live in Minnesota don't sleep naked because it's against the law!

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#1 It's comfortable

Clothes are never really comfortable when you snooze. Underwear, boxers, and t-shirts all bunch up! Stop tossing and turning and opt for a more relaxed and cozy night time outfit: your own skin. Sleeping naked may not cure insomnia, but it will give you a more comfortable night's sleep.

#2 Beat the heat 

Sure, it's November. And if you are anywhere like Chicago, it's getting chilly outside. But with the heat blasting, sleeping under all those blankets can get hot. Going nude, even in the winter months, will keep you from sweating!

#3 Go green 

The less you wear, the less you wash. Save Mother Nature and a few loads of laundry by going naked. You won't need to wash your pajamas and other nightly negligees every week, which saves you time and money while helping the environment.

#4 Sex, sex, sex

Great sex comes from having confidence. When you are worried about your body, chances are your sex won't be that great. For better sex, sleep naked! Get comfortable in your own skin! If you are married or live with your partner, invite them to go nude too. Sleeping naked doesn't have to always lead to sex; it's such a wonderful and sensual moment to just hold each other nude. However, there are pros to sleeping naked together — when you don't have to unbutton shirts or deal with bra hooks, sex is that much easier and more frequent.

#5 It's healthy

It is liberating to come home and undress from those restrictive clothes you wore for hours at a time. So stay naked once you undress for bed. Being naked gives your pores access to more oxygen that it then uses to pump clean healthy blood to your brain, heart and vital organs. So get naked and let every surface of your body breathe while you sleep.

#6 More Confidence 

It is scary to be naked when we aren't comfortable in our own skin. Being that raw and vulnerable is difficult for anyone! Going naked exposes all the parts we tend to hide or improve with clothing. As you see and feel your naked body you begin to embrace every curve, freckle, scar and any other imperfections you think you have. So remove your clothes and start loving yourself. Your confidence will soar and negative thoughts will dissolve.

#7 It's Fun! 

Being naked is so freeing! Have you ever heard of Chicago's annual World Naked Bike Ride? Naked individuals ride their bicycles at night as a way of celebrating the human body and freedom from oil. No, you don't have to go streaking to have fun, but once you start sleeping naked, you may start cooking naked, cleaning naked and just being naked more in general! The more living you do naked, the happier you will be with you body too.

Lora is our Editorial intern and resident health nut. When she is not writing, you can find her on her yoga mat, exploring Chicago via bicycle or spending time with her wonderful boyfriend and Beagle puppy in their north side apartment. She has a habit of spending too much money on soy lattes and yoga clothes. Find her on Twitter @HoneyNutLo. Have any questions? Email her at Lora@getlusty.com

Podcast! Bonnie Gayle on Feeling Beautiful Naked


Chief Body Liberator and co-creator of Sex Butter, Bonnie Gayle is no stranger to self-esteem and body issues. After years of dealing with these problems first-hand, Bonnie found many women hate their bodies and portray them in a negative light.

Today, she uses her experiences to teach others that not only does learning to love yourself improve your confidence, but it improves your intimate relationships. We sat down with Bonnie to chat about how changing your body image isn't just about changing yourself physically, but mentally as well, and we've recorded it for your listening pleasure.

What we talked about:
  • How does having a negative body image affect your intimate relationships? If you don't feel comfortable being naked by yourself, you probably will not feel comfortable being naked with a partner, Bonnie says.
  • What does Bonnie suggest to help overcome body image issues? Start infusing positive messages into your daily routine with Post-It notes around the house to remind you that you are beautiful!
  • Look at one part of your body in the mirror and say, "I love you and I accept you," Bonnie recommends to give yourself an extra dose of self-love throughout the day.
  • Use Sex Butter by rubbing it on specific body parts and tell yourself positive things about that body part; this makes it easier to start accepting yourself for who you are today, and positive change will follow.
  • How does positive body image affect your sexuality? When you feel confident and comfortable in your body you can connect better with your partner physically and emotionally; no matter what body part you think needs improvement, your partner loves you for who you are!
More about Bonnie:

Bonnie Gayle, Body Liberator, is a “body whisperer and sexual empowerment coach for women”.   Bonnie speaks publicly and facilitates the teaching of overcoming body image and self esteem issues to women so they can fully embrace sexual pleasure.  After co-creating Sex Butter, Yes Butter, and The Butter, products made from organic plant based oils which have been enhancing and healing women and couples, her true mission came alive: “Body Liberation”!

Bonnie’s know-how on sensitive subjects like negative body image, self loathing, and painful sexual issues stems from her own personal journey - a past filled with traumatic sexual experiences that led to an eating disorder and hating everything about herself.  Bonnie coped in all sorts of unhealthy ways, including withdrawal, binging & purging, emotional eating, promiscuity and self-deprecation.  After overcoming her eating disorder and negative body image & self worth issues and empowering herself, Bonnie has successfully assisted, mentored, and taught thousands of women the importance of loving the body you are in, treating it kindly, and stepping into embracing true sexual pleasure.

Bonnie is a member of several prominent women’s groups including: Women’s Speakers Assn., Top Female Executives, Cambridge Who’s Who, & NAPW and Over 40 Females. Read more about Bonnie at BodyLiberator.com, or connect with her through Facebook and Twitter @SexButterBabe.

 
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