7 Simple Rules for Your Sexiest Sunday

Lazy Sundays are probably the best time of the week. Everyone across Facebook and Twitter is talking about their lazy Sundays (especially after all that Halloween partying). Sometimes we take time off to enjoy Sundays. When we do, we enjoy sexy activities to pamper ourselves. Because feeling sexy is just as important being sexy. Our Erica Grigg reports on the things that make her feel sexiest.

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As the Chief Lust Officer, I have big shoes to fill. Friends, family and readers ask, "What should I do to feel sexier?". What it comes down to: how do I feel better to have better sex? Alright, I'll share some of my simple, slightly silly secrets to feeling sexy.

#1 A long bath

I'm daydreaming of this right now. Soaking; the longer the better. The more bubbles the better. Get extra soapy, extra relaxed. And open a bottle of bubbly to top it off! It doesn't need to be expensive. Just taking this time is what it takes to feel sexier. Of course, this requires you to feel you deserve all this self love and attention. Why? You deserve it! Man or woman, bubble baths are not gendered.

Although I admit it's been a long one since I've drawn a bath, it's just one of the most relaxing activities. Speaking of which, I'm going to schedule a bath. Because scheduling sex is just as important as scheduling time for your self.

#2 A mud mask

There's no other choice but to laugh. You look crazy. You likely are some weird color. But putting a masque on your skin is an excellent way to exfoliate. Have you looked at how radiant your skin is after cleansing? Yes.

Though I wouldn't recommend doing this more than 2 times weekly. It'll dry out your skin. Especially in Chicago with winter coming, you want to apply moisturizer after.

#3 Laugh

OK, I just helped that one I think. Or at least I left you wondering, "Why the hell did you include a guy smoking a cigarette in a mud mask?!" Yes according to University of Maryland, laughing makes you feel great. Why? According to the Discovery Network, "There is a stress-induced chemical in the body called cortisol, which contributes to problems like heart disease, hypertension and obesity. When we laugh, we set off a chain reaction that reduces cortisol levels."

#3 Work out

It might've been 4 days or 4 weeks. Maybe even 4 months. Just because you aren't the habit of working out doesn't mean you can't run and jump outside. After hours of working on our rumps during the week, we can start thinking sitting is normal. And healthy. It's not!

Get off your ass. Run, jump and play! Alternatively, go to the adult center for running and jumping - the gym. The gym is the ideal place to get your stress out from a long week. Don't hesitate. Do it! You might be out of shape. You might feel silly. That's OK. You're beautiful. You're competent. And no one at the gym really cares about how you look.

Once you've completed your (small, medium, large) workout -- don't forget to stretch. Have you ever had the cramps of the world the day after visiting the gym? No. It's bad.

#4 Stretch

Next to going to the gym, stretching is awesome to stay limber. No time to visit the gym? Stretch. Touch your toes. There are even stretches before or after sex.

#5 Get naked in front of a mirror. Don't wince

This might be surprising, but your body is likely completely normal. You might be like me--a little pudgy by traditional standards. Maybe you're tall. Or short. Stocky or fit. Either way, getting comfortable in your own skin works wonders for your overall sexiness.

#6 Watch feminist porn (or just visit Lady Cheeky)

There are plenty of reasons to watch porn. We even have recommendations for feminist porn! We'll have more on 'traditional' versus 'feminist' porn. There are several differences. The most striking of which is feminist porn includes far more women producers and directors. From what I've seen, there's a lot more queer porn from the feminist perspective. Overall, for me, feminist porn is awesome and erotic.

#7 Feel like a master

I'm not actually talking about being a submissive here, surprising enough. Although, if that's your thing, we do have several recommendations for being a great submissive. When was the last time you feel like you did something really well? Do you remember that feeling of conquering the world? You could do anything. You were Queen Kong (or King Kong). No one could touch you. Go back there. That is (for me at least) a great source of sexiness.

This is post by Erica Grigg, our Founder and Chief Lust Officer. She's a writer, marketer, social entrepreneur and sex geek. She wants to end boring sex. If you don't see Erica riding around downtown, Chicago in her beach cruiser or at a diner with her adoring husband, you see her chatting up the tech community about the importance of sex and love in marriage. Follow Erica on Twitter @ericagrigg or subscribe via Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.

Want to connect about business partnership with a woman-run business that cares? E-mail me directly at erica@getlusty.com.

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32 Affirmations From a Nudist (Why Be Nude--Now!)

It's Naked November, so we're all about getting down to our skivvies. We even have several fun nude date ideas. But why? What's so particularly great about being nude? And why in November? OK, we admit it's a bit too chilly for nudity. But that doesn't mean you can't look at yourself naked and feel good. Being naked is about having a positive body image, accepting yourself, and others as well--including all of their flaws. Our resident friend and nudist, Roy Michael Blakely, is here to explain his 32 affirmations for why you should be naked right now.

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Why I Love To Be Nude

For happiness! Naturism keeps, provides, allows, reveals, answers, fulfills, completes and confirms our return to a spiritual design of being human for the joy of loving and being loved beyond all secrecy, inhibition, doubt, and betrayal.

#1 Being Nude keeps me grounded, and protects me from the incremental assassination by a world seeking to rule my awareness with bigotry, sexism, and lust.

#2 Being Nude keeps me more alert - attuned to my surroundings and those around me in a stress-free state of mind.

#3 Being Nude keeps me vigilant in my faith for self-worth and values.

#4 Being Nude keeps me - ME. I belong to ME without self-doubt or pity, thus remaining free as ME to inspire the happiness & joy that gives you me, and me you, free of debt as my reward for being ME.

#5 Being Nude provides my perpetual invitation for new friendships seeking to honor this awareness with our mutual sharing and living.

#6 Being Nude provides the comfort essential for my spirituality.

#7 Being Nude provides the clarity of self-worth and honoring self-esteem with unbridled reflection.

#8 Being Nude provides freedom for others that welcomes their uninhibited selves, for the honor of sharing and living without pretenses.

#9 Being Nude allows me to uphold the honorable spiritual truth that the penis and vagina constitute the physical host for Gender Values, and that no shame, guilt, or fear should diminish our Sum by my attitude and actions.

#10 Being Nude allows me to feel closer to my Higher Power. Bearing no pretense for the design of me--as a spiritual being embodying the human experience.

#11 Being Nude allows me to be more easily recognized by those who embody my passions and honor.

#12 Being Nude allows me to better illuminate the women who can embrace my awareness of them, from the many in denial of that spiritual worth.

#13 Being Nude for a woman‘s honorable worth, reveals my faith in her as undiminished given a lack of pretense by her.

#14 Being Nude for a woman's reflection of her own self worth, reveals her self-esteem with me as undiminished without pretense by me.

#15 Being Nude for a woman‘s acceptance of me, reveals an affection from her that welcomes my worth without excuse.

#16 Being Nude for a woman‘s need of embracing who I am, reveals the affection I seek to share in the mutual worth of friendship, romance, and sexuality.

#17 Being Nude answers the best of what we are in spirit, to honor the most of who we are in the flesh. We can embrace our truth in one another - family, friendship, marriage, and faith, without the ignorance or arrogance of secrecy, inhibition, doubt, or betrayal diminishing that acceptance.

#18 Being Nude answers my greatest honor in being alive as a human being, for the faith and self- worth that constitutes the love with which I worship my Higher Power, in total acceptance.

#19 Being Nude answers the devotion I seek to share with others in family, friendship, marriage, and faith, in total acceptance.

#20 Being Nude answers the need for spiritually, emotionality, and sexuality.

#21 Being Nude fulfills my need for being me, as my quest to worship my Higher Power finds peace and joy in what I am by spiritual design.

#22 Being Nude fulfills my courage of being me, as my need for being nude is of my faith and not by doubt.

#23 Being Nude fulfills my purpose in being me, as shame, guilt, and fear bear no religion as my faith to seduce me.

#24 Being Nude fulfills my duty of being me against all the social assassinations of my spirit sought by religion and politics.

#25 Being Nude completes me with the face value of my self worth, by the naked truth of faith through gentle eyes. With nothing left to shed as a nudist who worships a Higher Power, as a celebration of our sum, answers with reflections of You by spiritual design, that hate cannot undress as a pretense.

#26 Being Nude completes my trust with others about Gender Values, by the gentle eyes I inherit as a nudist to embrace whom I can as a sum rather than for their parts. Greed cannot claim me with selfish want.

#27 Being Nude completes me upon the orgasm, by the gentle eyes I inherit as a nudist to honor sex with the dignity of my own esteem. Temptation cannot answer for me.

#28 Being Nude completes me upon my free agency, by the gentle eyes I inherit as a nudist to respect others as I respect myself, that clothing cannot determine for me.

#29 Being Nude confirms my dignity by my Higher Power's domain, as my spiritual will by realization over consensus, seeks to discover and not plagiarize my meaning with others by spiritual grace.

#30 Being Nude confirms my beauty by my Higher Power‘s domain, as my spiritual will by realization over consensus, seeks to extend, rather than patronize the worth of others by spiritual blessing.

#31 Being Nude confirms my love by My Higher Power‘s domain, as my spiritual will by realization over consensus, seeks to embrace, rather than question, the spiritual truth of others by spiritual will.

#32 Being Nude confirms my sexuality by my Higher Power‘s domain, as my spiritual will by realization over consensus, seeks to deliver, rather than cheat the value of joy in others by spiritual design.

Roy Michael Blakely is a nudist. He's also a divorced father of 5 grown sons & a daughter in Heaven. He is also a newly published author of "Gender Values: A Proposal for Marriage in a Bottle". Michael believes that as long as “normal” is used as a measure for right and wrong, insanity will rule us against growth-maturity-and love! Check out his blogs at Gentle Eyes and Gender Values. Follow Roy on Twitter @gendervalues.

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Don't Forget Play: Have Fun Today!

Staying in love with yourself is just as important as loving your partner. That's why during this time of stress, loneliness and heartache during the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, we're talking about the importance of play. Through play, we not only have fun, but we feel good about ourselves as well. Enjoying the life you're living in the body you were given. Monica Day is here to talk about the importance of having fun so you can live the best, happy life (which is an important part of having great sex, too).

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My kids just watched the old Tom Hanks movie, Big, over the weekend. The one where he wishes on a carnival fortune-telling machine to be “big” and wakes up in the body of a grown man the next morning.

I wandered through the living room during the scene where he has hot co-worker, Elizabeth Perkins, up to his loft and he’s trying to get her to jump on the trampoline. She’s rolling her eyes, asking for a glass of wine, until finally, he drags her onto it, puffy-skirted evening dress and all. Awkward at first, she makes a few tentative bounces and tries to get down. But he holds her hands, bounces with her, and makes it safe and fun for her to play again. And (big surprise) she also falls in love with him.

The irony of course is that she is a big whig in a toy company. But she had forgotten how to play. And while she had plenty of affairs with men in her company as a way to advance her career, this time her feelings were real. This boy-in-a-man’s-body opened her back up to the fun and innocence of playing. Along the way, the experience unleashed in her genuine passion, imagination and intimacy as well.

Hint: Anyone who is dating these days and trying to follow “The Rules” and “He’s Just Not That Into You” advice: I say ditch it and find someone you can play and be yourself with! Everything will fall into place from there.

I was re-introduced to the word “play” as an adult when I entered the realm of sensual living. I wasn’t even good at playing as a child…so playing as an adult was an even greater challenge, as I had no memory to draw from for the experience. Then, to connect “play” with intimacy, sensuality and sex...well, that was a pretty big leap.

To me, play was not serious enough. It made me feel small, silly and suggested that I was irresponsible. Growing up, it seemed like adults had all the freedom and fun, and kids just got in trouble. So I was determined to be “big” as well, as early as possible. But that big-ness soon became an abatross around my neck — something I couldn’t get rid of, even when I finally wanted to.

Today, I see just about everything as one form of play or another — play is freedom, innocence and openness. You can even work out issues and have arguments, all within the realm of play (just ask my kids, they do it all the time)! Play is a mindset: players like to keep the game going, rather than having winners and losers, and life is the biggest game going!

So if the idea of bouncing on a trampoline in your evening attire doesn’t appeal to you, it may be time you give it a try. Innocence, freedom, wonder and love might be right around the corner.

Cross-posted with permission from The Sensual Life.

Monica Day is the founder of The Sensual Life, and a writer, performer, workshop leader, and personal coach.

Her signature workshop, The Essensual Experience, uses creative expression to inspire more honesty and open communication about your desires – which is the precursor to living a life you love, getting the love you desire, and having the sex you’ve only dared imagine. You can follow her on Twitter @thesensuallife, on her Facebook Fan Page, The Sensual Life, and at her website.

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4 Ways to Start Meditating for Better Sex

Meditation seems to be a huge trend right now in the celebrity world with Orlando Bloom and Gisele Bundchen claiming to meditate. But its more than a mere fad. Meditation, like yoga, is thousands of years old! Its healing properties such as reducing stress and bringing about more mental well-being should have everyone meditating! But lets face it: meditation can be scary and intimidating. But, what if I told you that mediation can actually help you reach orgasms? Would you start chanting and making the sound of "om" more? Our Lora Swarts reports on how to get started with meditation!

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According to researchers at Brown University in Rhode Island, women who are able to train their mind and thoughts during sex will experience more pleasure. The study followed 44 students: 30 of whom were women and half of whom had taken a 12 week meditation course. The participants were shown a slideshow of erotic images. When asked to describe their reaction as calm, anxious or aroused, the women who were mediating already registered more quickly as feeling aroused. Meditation allows us to feel more and not get caught up in our own thoughts. When we focus on "feeling" more then we may have a higher chance of orgasming quicker as opposed to letting ourselves get caught up in our heads.

Along with my yoga practice, I love to mediate. Even if its for 10 minutes a day, I always feel more serene, calm, and have more gratitude. Mediation can lead to self-love, body awareness and more attention span all of which can help you with reaching an orgasm! Although orgasms shouldn't be the end goal of sex (that is just too much pressure on a person), it sure is nice to know that meditation can help us reach them! We have already written on some yoga poses to help you have better sex, now its time for some delicious meditation to improve our sex lives!

#1 Quiet environment 

First things first. Be sure to find a comfortable and quiet spot in your home, office, gym, wherever! In order to really go inside you need space and lots of quiet. Do not rush the meditation process. Start with 10-15 minutes and gradually increase your meditation time. Sit up straight and stay comfortable by resting your bum on a folded blanket. Its difficult at first to sit still but just know that you will reap the benefits soon enough. Just like anything it takes time.

#2 Breathe

Just as in yoga, breath is important in meditation. Using breathing exercising helps you get into a more relaxed state. Focus your attention on your belly with every inhale and exhale (feel it expand and deflate as you breath). Try inhaling slowly to a count of three. Then hold your breath for a count of three at the top of your inhale. Exhale for three counts. Once you get used to this style of breathing, increase your counts and hold the breath longer. Using your breath helps keep you focused and more aware. During sex, your breath can help you feel more aware and present. When you are relaxed and your mind is settled you can more easily orgasm.


#3 Personal mantra 

If counting your breath isn't helping you relax and focus, try a mantra or a combo of both! A mantra is a sacred word or phrase that you can speak aloud or with the voice in your head. Also, try imagining a peaceful place in your mind. Focus on this calm place, and let your mind go there. Focusing on your breath, mantra or image will greatly help you in reaching your personal peace. Need help developing your mantra?  Get started with "Om" which is the classic and sacred sound of Hinduism.

#4 Clear your mind 

When your mind begins to wander, non-judgmentally push those thoughts aside without labeling them "good" or "bad" and come back to your breath count, mantra or image. Silencing your mind is the pinnacle of mediation. Meditation is a journey, so just take it all in! When thoughts do enter your mind, and they will, impartially observe them and gently push them away until silence returns.  Eventually you will be able to control your thoughts!

Meditation brings about concentration, knowledge of self, better health, and helps us stay in the present and worry less about the past and future. Think about it. During sex, if you can concentrate more, detach your mind from disruptive thoughts, and relax, orgasming is just around the corner! So start "oming" to start having that big "O"!

 Lora is our Editorial intern and resident health nut. When she is not writing, you can find her on her yoga mat, exploring Chicago via bicycle, or spending time with her wonderful boyfriend and Beagle puppy in their north side apartment. She has a habit of spending too much money on soy lattes and yoga clothes. Find her on Twitter at @HoneyNutLo or writing over at her own blog! Have any questions? Email her at Lora@GetLusty.com

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