3 Ways Too Much Porn Could Be Killing Your Erection

We love porn. But could porn effect men differently than women? What are the implications for watching porn? Could porn have an influence on your sex drive or erection? Have your triggers become so extreme and so far removed from actual real-life sex that you are having trouble actually having sex? We've heard this several times from our readers that porn has had a big impact on their sex life. If it's having a negative impact, could you turn that around?

Erectile dysfunction and loss of desire are often blamed entirely on physical problems, with thanks in large part to propaganda specialists (ie drug companies). Rarely do we investigate psychological causes. Often guys are simply too freaked or stressed to get erect and they have physically nothing wrong. GetLusty for Couples's Jason Estrada proposes a theory that might be so obvious and logical that it eludes consideration. Gents, could you be watching too much porn?

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Guys, we all know what erectile dysfunction (ED) is? We’ve all read the articles and seen the hundreds of advertisements for little blue pills. If you suffer from this affliction, you might have went straight to the Viagra website before seeing a doctor. I’m guessing most men with ED didn’t even consider seeing a therapist. Here’s one more thing I’m betting most of you haven’t considered; too much porn.

#1 Extreme-itization

Erectile dysfunction affects more than just retired old men with silver hair - it affects men of all ages. Even young, healthy twenty-somethings have trouble getting it up these days. Think about what porn is today. It gets hotter, nastier, and more extreme every day.

When you look at an old Playboy, can you honestly say that it still turns you on? Of course it doesn’t. Not when there’s readily available hardcore porn on the Internet. And the stuff on the internet isn’t an elegantly airbrushed model in some tasteful pose kind of porn. The porn we watch today has raised our tolerance for the erotic.

Once your computer turns off, you walk away with these new extreme fetishes floating around in your imagination. Your partner comes home and they’re ready for some sexy fun, but there’s a problem. The idea of normal, real-life sex just isn’t doing it for you. She isn’t that porn star, draped in latex and gagging on a red rubber ball. How can you go back to that old fashion sex after experiencing such extreme stimulus? Doggie style and missionary position don't seem as exciting as they used to. So regular sex doesn’t do it for you anymore. Getting turned on has become harder than ever. Excuse the pun.

#2 Lowers your self-esteem

Lets say you don’t like that fetish porn. Maybe you’re fine with watching one person fucking another. No bondage or fisting for you, but you still can’t get excited for real-life sex. Well, raising one’s tolerance beyond a realistic level isn’t the only negative symptom of porn.

You’re watching completely average porn. We’ll say, one guy – one girl. All they’re doing is fucking. There’s nothing out of the ordinary realm of real-life sex except for one thing. All male porn stars are sex gods! First of all, they can fuck for hours (it seems). Most of us are proud as hell if we make it to 30 minutes. Especially after we enter our 30s and 40s. The second issue is this sex god on our computer screen has this monster of a dick, 12 inches long and 4 inches wide. By now I’m sure we’ve all realized men’s obsession with penis size. For some, our penis size determines our amount of confidence, and has a dramatic effect on our personality. You know that part in movies where the man pulls out a gigantic gun and the woman says something about him over-compensating for his small penis?


Just like in all other mainstream media outlets, porn has perverted our perspective of reality. We can never live up to porn’s standard of “real” manliness.

#3 Fear

Have you ever paid attention to the advertisements on porn websites and magazines? They are filled with ED medication, penis enlargement and “how To fuck a girl" ads. An extremely important fact to remember is that ED pills are developed for older men whose problems stem from aging and blocked blood vessels in the penis. They are not for gents with self-esteem issues, and they definitely not for “sport fucking”. Also important, is that these advertisers are feeding off our fear of impotence. Fear is where impotence starts – fear that you can’t perform like that porn star, fear that your partner won’t scream and holler like the girl in the porn.

How can we survive without porn?

I’m not telling you to stop watching porn, but maybe switch to different genres. Find some porn sites that don’t flood you with unrealistic fantasies. That beautiful woman/man who sleeps next to you every night – that person should be your fantasy. If you can’t experience it with her/him, then don’t experience it with some porn stars on your computer.

Jason Estrada is currently working on his master's for creative writing, in the hopes of becoming a very rich screenwriter some day. His other interests include photography, cinematography, and video editing. His favorite book is The Great Gatsby. Favorite movie is either The Crow or When Harry Met Sally - can't decide. And his all time favorite show is Doctor Who.

When he's not enjoying any of those things, you can find him at home, drinking and smoking way too much while listening to VNV Nation. Connect with him via email at jason@getlusty.com or subscribe via Facebook.

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What Erectile Dysfunction Is - And Isn't

Don't panic GetLusty men, there's nothing wrong with you, or your penis. A failure to perform is not a permanent illness you will suffer from for the rest of your life. For some, it's just a sign that your body and mind are changing, and that you might just need to make some adjustments in your sex life. Take a deep breath, and let Dr. Joel Block ease your worries with his expertise on this delicate matter.

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What is Erectile Dysfunction (ED)?

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is the chronic or ongoing failure to get or sustain an erection. A man at any age can fail to achieve a desired erection or lose an erection during lovemaking. In youth, the situation is embarrassing and sometimes confusing. Most men, however, know that the occasional erectile problem is typically linked to fatigue, overconsumption of food or drink, or a relationship issue. At mid-life, a man may read a lot more anpit ED. He may see his future in a single failed erection. How, he, and his partner handle this situation can determine how frequent they will be. As men get older they experience natural and common changes in their sexual response.

5 things ED isn't?

#1 You need direct penile stimulation to have an erection, and no longer get an erection just from thinking about sex or seeing your partner in an alluring pose.

#2 It takes you longer to achieve an erection.

#3 You require more time to achieve ejaculation. After a period of intercourse, your erection subsides, and after ejaculation, your erection subsides more quickly than when you were younger.

#4 Your erection isn't as hard as it was when you were a teenager.

#5 You need more time to recover between ejaculations.

Now, why does ED happen?

#1 Natural occurrences

Such changes are gradual, and you shouldn't be frightened by them. Changing response patterns enable a man to be a better lover than he was because he is now responding at a pace more similar to his partner's.

Lack of knowledge and refusal to accept the aging process as an erotic opportunity can prevent men from seizing the sexual moment. Anxiety also plays a major role in creating an ED dynamic. If a man misinterprets his responses and becomes anxious about his potency, he will be tense and fearful about lovemaking and may end up making an erectile dysfunction out of a normal occurrence.

#2 Physical problems 

Some men do experience erection difficulties that are more serious than the normal changes associated with aging. Psychological factors, ranging from performance and stress issues to intimacy conflicts, can contribute to erection disorders. Physical problems, such as diabetes, vascular disease, and urological and neurological conditions, can also cause ED. Heavy smokers and drinkers may suffer extensive damage to the small blood vessels—including those in the penis—which leads to ED.

#3 Psychological problems

For most men, ED stems from a combination of psychological factors that need to be addressed. The best approach is a comprehensive psych-based program like the one found at www.MindoverEd.com. A simple prescription drug isn't likely to solve the problem.

When ED is rooted in psychological issues, the cause is likely to be:

Anger. Unacknowledged and unexpressed anger can sit on the end of a penis and hold it down. As noted in previous chapters, repressed anger, whether at the partner or not, has a devastating effect on sexuality.

Intimacy conflicts. Maybe your penis is trying to tell you something about the relationship. Conflicts that have been ignored or papered over for years can cause sexual functioning problems now.

Depression. Libido is often a casualty of depression, even low-level depression, especially if prolonged. Bouts of ED can increase a man’s feelings of discouragement. While antidepressants such as Prozac may lift the depression, they may fail to lift the penis.

Stress. At midlife a man has to learn stress management or face increasing bouts of ED. When he was young, he could get and maintain an erection in spite of stress. That’s less likely now.

Worry. Concerns about job security, personal finances, and family issues such as problems with teenage children and aging parents can also create a psychological climate for ED. If a man is feeling powerless in the world, he may convey that message to his penis. Generally, worry and stress are short-term situations. They may result in brief periods of ED that can be overcome in a good relationship.

Performance anxiety. One occurrence of ED can set up the cycle of failure, anxiety, failure. In fact, performance anxiety is probably the most common contributing, or secondary, psychological cause of ED.

Joel D. Block, Ph.D., is an award-winning psychologist-excellence in couple therapy-practicing couple and sex therapy on Long Island, New York. Board Certified in Couple therapy by the American Board of Professional Psychology. Dr. Block is a senior psychologist on the staff of the North Shore-Long Island Jewish Medical Center and an Assistant Clinical Professor (Psychology/Psychiatry) at the Hofstra North Shore-LIJ Medical School. For twenty years he was the training supervisor of the Sexuality Center at Long Island-Jewish Medical Center. Dr. Block is the author of over 20 books on Love and Sex, his specialty. Check out DrBlock.com for more information.

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